Narrator: "As an amicable scientist, Professor Licklider noticed that most of his time was engaged-- not in thinking, no sir-- but getting himself in a position to think. It was finding, sorting, and shuffling the data that took the majority of the time when a conclusion took mere seconds, by Jove!

He thought deeply about man/machine interactions to date. With man and shovel, the tool extends the power of the man. With a man and a steam locomotive, the man shovels coal into the furnace-- a process which hasn't been automated yet. In the case of man and computer, however, each would complement each other and thrive on their mutual dependence. With the computer's speed & storage capabilities, and man's ingenuity, it would usher in 'the most creative and exciting time in the history of mankind'"

Narrator: "Licklider worked for the government heading the Advanced Research Projects Agency (ARPA) with a sizable budget to defeat the Russians. It was he who proposed forming a network of computers to communicate with one another across a spectrum of highly individualistic languages. Yes, we owe the origins of what would become the internet to this honorable, soft-spoken man. Let us continue to pioneer in his memory, and God bless America!"

********************

"This is Janeane Garofalo, your '90s sort of woman, telling you that God is dead. M'kay? Right. Our generation is taking over, and we don't care about DWEM's-- Dead, White, European Males. They don't matter, they're like, so fake, m'kay? A little history lesson-- history is nothing but the oppression of white males over women, queers, the transgendered, and people of color. Imperialism, racism, colonialism, homophobia, and what-have-you. The future is in technology!"

Cut to shot of room of teenagers wearing black stocking-caps, perched at computer terminals and guffawing. They're programming, or are supposed to be, anyhow.

Janeane Garofalo: "These kids today, they're like monkeys with their little fingers (-- twiddling her fingers in front of the cameras). All right, keep it up and you'll get your squirt of fruit juice, m'kay?"

Teenager in stocking-cap: "I'm like, so IN THE NOW, dude!"

*******************

"You want a-nuther song? Well I ain't plain' one mutherfuckin' note until someone comes up here and puts sum money in my god-damned tip-jar! You know I only came here for one purpose. . . . . to take yor fuckin' cash! Why, I could make more profit puttin' out my meth-head neighbor's asshole and ringin' a bell, hollerin' 'Man for sale! Man for sale!'

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

(Rheeee of Crickets)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

("I heard that, Missy!")