Had much more of this had happened, I would have thrown a "You won't have Nixon to kick around anymore" hissyfit and absolved myself completely from public life. And in this age of 24/7 media ravage, "resurrecting oneself from the dead" like mean ole' Dick did in '68 is short of impossible unless magazines are writing snarky "Where are they now?" features like that guy who streaked across the stage at the 1974 Academy Awards. Or more insultingly, Tonya Harding.

Increasingly, a line is drawn between "The Media" and their ogres-- "normal society" and those who crawl back under a rock when the media "sees too much". My story is a pretty whacked-out one, I will admit, and I suspect if you ask around you'll find out things about me. Shit leaks. It always does. And you are the direct pipeline to the public, an audience staring up and waiting for "pennies from heaven" to splash them like eggy, steaming holy water of the tabloid age where icons are sinners, novelty is a bestiary out of "The Book of Revelation" foretelling the hungry end, and plaster lawn angels weep milky tears that looks suspiciously like bird shit.

I hear a rumbling in the infrastructure, a subterranean earthquake as anticipation rises among the crowd, holding out their hats.

Though I don't like you, I'm ready for you. . . . .

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PART II: On "Asperger's Syndrome"
& High-Functioning Autism

I have made mistakes in my past. . . . . which I'm embarrassed about. But what you have to remember, is that it all comes down to a very long and painful "learning process" that is like teaching a man with no legs how to walk with artificial limbs, and by extension-- oiling the joints of a very rusty social creature who is "just learning how to swivel his pelvis".

You see a man struggling out of a wheelchair with metal struts where his legs should be like a biomechanoid, and you don't necessarily stop and laugh at him-- nor kick him down and step on him-- just to feel a momentary rush of comfortable, snide superiority. He gets up, he takes a couple of faltering steps, then he stumbles and spills into some girls eating ice cream whom he halfway wanted to romance like a sauntering Elvis. (-- Actually, that is kind of amusing)

What I'm most reminded of is the movie, "Edward Scissorhands" which was basically a story about a withdrawn, autistic boy whose obvious handicap was also his very special gift, but also turned out to be what destroyed him by the final reel-- a set of disastrous circumstances that culminated with him fleeing for his life from a torch-wielding mob. (-- But he did get Winona Ryder!)

However, what you have to remember about ole' Eddie is that "he never really learned how to talk", which can make things doubly trepidating when the local neighborhood is ripping up mailbox posts so they can impale you to the ground with them. And then chop off your head with a garden hoe.

And sometimes, the more you try to fix social relations as someone who's not naturally "a natural"-- the worse you make it. If you're too careless, you knock things over. And then in an effort to pick up the pieces, you knock over something else. And then in an effort to pick up those pieces, you knock over something else. Ad infintium. The boat gets pushed out pretty far out in the waters, away from the shore-- where everyone is conventionally comfortable-- as you're convinced you "almost got it", knocking over more shit. If you've been chased away because you "chased", and thusly stand around as rigid as a pipe in the china shop, passerbys stare at you. And in your very rigidity, you're more likely to trip, fall and start the cycle over again when you try to "salvage" whatever you can out of the pitiful wreck of a budding relationship.

What I've learned in my life, being out in this wilderness for over a decade, is sometimes you have to learn to salvage what you have left out of the broken pieces because there won't necessarily be an influx of new relationships. You don't want to be remembered for your failures, but prove your successes by trying over and over again so they may see how you have improved, or so maybe they will get to know the man behind the social shakiness. We men, who are nearly ALWAYS the ones who suffer from this social clumsiness, are idiots. Just why life can't be more like tinker-toys, or chainsaws, or engines, or graphing calculators, or HTML markup language in the comfort, solace, and isolation of our home office or garage, we don't know and then again if we did we might finally come up with a solution to the age-old question of "what do women really want?"

You got me, pal. I just run a website. . . . .

"Please accept me for my quirky charm!"

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PART III: On Robots & Competitive Soccer

"Human wiring" is a very strange thing. . . . . and intersects with the world of robots and cybernetics. When scientists want to create "Artificial Intelligence", they don't necessarily program it with strict rules "out of a book" because no one is smart enough to come up with every conceivable rule that would guide the laws of life. Try, and you would fail because we can't ever know everything-- we're not omnipotent and all-seeing. Rather, we learn by experience and as Oscar Wilde once quipped, "experience is the name we give our mistakes". Scientists and engineers rather teach their robots "how to learn", or to be more accurate "TO LEARN how to learn" so they can go about the process in their own way, programming themselves. Time has shown that self-taught robots will always trump "pre-programmed ones" in any kind of competition, especially in a friendly game of soccer. Some robots are wired to learn in one way, some in another, but just because you're not the most conventional kind of intelligence does not mean that you have to be "junked" by the standards of a society that can only measure by certain criteria. You just need to spend more time learning, putting theory into action, accepting feedback, and getting out of the slough of despair. There is this tendency in our culture "to give up too easily" and "junk" our God-given talents. If you're not necessarily good at one thing, with a lot of hard work and discipline you may become freakishly good at another and tower over everyone like the Colossus at Rhodes.

Or even be up for a friendly little game of robo-soccer. . . . .

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Part IV: On William Pierce
& "The National Alliance"

Known as "The Thomas Paine" of the white power movement, ole' Bill had a lot of intelligent things to say against the tide of globalism, "one-worldism", multiculturalism, and the decline of standards in Western society. His problem, however, was his rigidity and inability to adapt in a positive way to the changes since the 1960's as he turned "to the dark side" and lived in the West Virginia hills on a ratty compound, putting out strident anti-minority and anti-Jewish propaganda which may have contained some truth, but was the very "bottom of the well" of cynicism, ruefulness, and anger. It may be good to be aware of such things, but not to go walking around inside that "cult of rage" that takes you nowhere. The people he surrounded himself with were mostly defective loners who never found their place in society. Normally, men who are "happy and well-adjusted" have no reason to gravitate around such extreme ideologies and are too busy "making money & fucking".

His ideas are somewhat influential in my thinking, to the extent that you don't hide behind candied illusions whose foundation is set up on squishy ground and is made out of "mud, pus, and slime". It's a lot like the child in "The Emperor's New Clothes" who points out that the reigning monarch is stark naked while people are reveling in celebration, a collective madness where no one is willing "to stick their neck out". Freedom can sometimes be thought of as "having nothing left to lose" and not being bound by the strictures of "a slave morality"-- using the narrow vision of others or the news media as the ultimate existential authority when there will never be "a divine reward" for your cooperation, just increasing degradation as we reach for "comfort" instead of "honor". Well, in the end we get neither because we don't stand up for ourselves!

A problem with the neo-Nazis is their search for an absolute "purity", without astringent exception. All races and cultures are at their strongest when there's a healthy assimilation going on at "the street level"-- not necessarily that you get swamped by foreigners so your identity is under threat, but so long as there's enough variety to give matters some "zing" and "zip". For instance, nachos at the ballpark or jalapino hotdogs at "7-Eleven". Or even rock n' roll, which can be defined as "a left black hand" and "a white right hand". Exposure to many sources will make you "the strongest", "the most hardy", and "the most resistant to disease" by the intake of information-- whether to viruses or memes, which are like cultural viruses that dance through a select population's consciousness. I would not be who I am today if I didn't come out of a mixed cultural household and had exposure to so many things at a semi-fortunate "crossroads of history", when you take on the strongest attributes of all with "the freedom to explore".

The healthiest dog will inevitably be some kind of mutt, and not a pure-breed of select characteristics whose tendencies are played out generation after generation to the point of oblivion. As geeks marry geeks, the business class "merges" with the business-minded, stoners breed with goofball stoners, certain questionable attributes will be handed down, leading to a decline in the people's cultural and racial stock because the offspring becomes about 1.5 times more so than the parents, but even more putrid and hopeless in our dumbed-down world of instant media, where the herd follows not solid wagons breaking ground into new frontiers, but jets of methane that light up in the artificial velvet night of media consciousness and are promptly forgotten.

The English look like gawky misfits, the French look Gaelic and hideous, and Germans look like tightly-wrapped little blood-sausages because there is not enough variety in the national character. The Italians look the best overall, most people would agree, because they have the greatest variety of blood. Just remember, that not everything was meant to carry on forever and some kind of mythical, eternal stasis of peoples and nations. The universe is in a constant state of flux, and is not like a tablet carved in stone and its super-stagnation in a rapidly-stratifying world that is surely killing us as the barriers to surviving long enough to produce children drop and "the less fit" out-breed their betters.

By accepting how we're different, striving for excellence and rising up to meet our destiny-- free from "media moralizing" that ultimately goes along with what's profitable instead of what's right-- we can meet our true potentials, staring down the angry, doofusy crowd and making them scatter in fear. Because who stands before you IS A MAN, and not a slave.

What's so hilarious is that for all that the neo-Nazis cling to the notion of "the white race", they tend to be rather pitiful specimens of that very race whom "the true Aryans" would spit at in the glory days of the Reich, or the time when "The Klan" had millions of members . . . . . some who were actually respectable and whom you would not be mortified to be seen with.

In "Huckleberry Finn", Mark Twain used a device to illustrate human nature of why anyone would want to get involved with such scuzzy things. Two con artists drifted into town and nailed up a sign announcing a night of entertainment, but "no women and children". Naturally, that was going to appeal to the prurient interests of anyone who was not excluded, and in the men-folk wandered into the tent, scratching their heads. And boy, did those two con-artists put on a show! You have to read the story to fully appreciate it, but understand that with lots of scuzzy organizations the thrill is not who you let it, but who you keep out. The joke among "The Church of Satan" as founded by Anton LaVay in 1966 is that they don't believe in Satan, and use the sinister-looking baphomet and goatees and black robes to scare away the timid while drawing in a certain stripe of person who would be attracted to this part-time "Halloween party" where things aren't what they seem-- only that you get separated from your money.

That's human nature. . . . .

Like a pet industry fanning the flames of "Satanic panic", leading the gullible to believe that all around the country there is a vast Satanic conspiracy operating underground in our churches, neighborhoods, and schools, groups like "The Anti-Defamation League" and "The Southern Poverty Law Center" overstate the threat of the far right and militia movement, leaving the horrified with the impression that the country is swarming with snarling Aryan wolves.

"GRRRRRR. GRRRRRR".

Pull back the curtain, and find a bunch of meek coyotes pacing around a cage of their own choosing. About the fiercest thing they do is litter yards with soggy leaflets in the dead of night because they're not about "to go knocking on doors" to win converts. Besides, no one wants to go to prison with all those blacks and Mexicans they secretly fear, which is why they're involved in this movement in the first place. It's all about "acting tougher than you really are".

There is a veritable symbiotic relationship between "the scurvy, piss-ant jackal" you actually have and "the well-fed condors" that swoop overhead, overstating the threat and raking in the money with their "shrieks" of self-serving noise. If a man was smart, he ought to start up an organization with a purloined mailing list and an "idealistic" cause and cynically watch the money roll in from "the true believers" who do all the footwork and envelope-licking. Are you really making a difference? Jackals and condors will always be part of the food-chain. . . . . .

But hey, it's a racket!

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Part V: On Approved Media Villains
& "The Man in Black"

Out in the world, there will always be a character like Tom Metzger of W.A.R. (-- White Aryan Resistance) who everyone has been trained to hate. It's not necessarily what the man says, if you would even listen to the man, but the fact that the great majority of people are conditioned to leap at "buzz-words" like "hater" or "Nazi", without looking in the mirror and seeing what the lot of them would do with Tom Metzger if the law wasn't looking. Most wouldn't have the nuts to lead a torch-lit parade and lynch him anyhow, and instead would settle for smaller-than-life "Bart Simpson" tricks when the man comes to the school to speak.

Like a kid thinking he's going to get one over on "the ole' Nazi" by pointing him to the bathroom but not telling him that the toilet is broken. Grins all around as seconds pass, when "The Man in Black" shrugs and understands perfectly-- hardly impressed by this stratagem. Oh, well-- such is his lot in life as he shuffles out of the public speaking engagement in his overalls, back out to the truck where he drives off and is never seen again. "They sure showed him!" Or for any 98 pound weakling on the opposing side who wants to "talk big", and act like they're going to charge "The Man in Black's" house with leftist goons and chop his radio equipment to splinters where he broadcasts his internet show. But see if they ever show up!

For there to be men out there to do what they do, and for all these scurvy little children who think they're going to sabotage their efforts like Macauly Culkin outwitting the burglars in "Home Alone", they just need to pop that video out of the VCR, unplug "The Gamecube", and go out to the Midwestern plains where your only answer is the mean prairie winds. Are you "man enough" to accept life as is, where men let each other be? Or are you going to run back in the house and watch Pokémon? Maybe some out there will never "get it", wandering around inside this "American media hologram" of Hollywood & East Coast-dominated assumptions about how the world works or ought to work which simply ain't very realistic. But sooner or later they're going to smack into a metal wall or fall off a catwalk playin' "laser tag".

So long as you keep it low-fi and simple, you can't lose. . . . . and everyone understands each other. Don't like Tom Metzger's show? Don't listen to it! But there are a lot of men out there who do, so mind your own business. Or be "big enough" to tune in and listen to what he has to say. You might be surprised to find yourself agreeing with a great deal of the message. This is beyond politics, but this is about what happens on the ground-- what the media censors out of a blindness that is rooted in a sense of upright moral duty that is inextricably bound to a system that is slowly losing all of its credibility as "the old certainties" fail us and the hologram dies, leaving a void as we chaw tobacco and look on.

And any MAN ought to respect that. . . . .

Part VI: "On Jews-- Winona or Shylock?"

First off, if Jews have risen to a position of prominence in the world it's because they have worked harder than anyone else, possess a radically higher-I.Q. than your average character named "Buford" kicking shit in a Steston, and belong to the culture of success where you forge connections and it's just expected that you stay amongst your class and social set. Really, how could it be any other way? In the history of Europe and The United States they have traditionally allied themselves with the forces of free markets, materialism, and maximized individual rights in urban-based enterprises that began on the margins where no one else would go. Banking, for instance. Or Hollywood. Or the garment trade or diamond business. As outsiders with a lot of restless energy and modern alienation, they were the impetus behind the forces of liberalism, socialism, communism, feminism, civil rights, political-correctness, and the other idealistic notions that "just never quite added up" and caused much friction and resentment with the outer world, especially in "the Red-State" countryside that would rather be left alone from all of this motherly, egotistic "meddling". And I speak for my own mother.

Free markets, materialism, and maximized individual rights-- are they on the side of progress, or the degeneration of history. . . . . that is, when you pull back the camera far enough? These trends are inevitable in any major civilization and Jews happened to be actors in a script that would have been played out sooner or later. But many point their finger anyhow. It was never about "the exact moment when The West was lost", but those factors were built in since the beginning. Probably the fact that people are staring zombie-like at a television every night, the advertisers looking for the lowest-common denominator, has more to explain the fact that "we're on our way out". And right now we look like The Roman Empire heading toward collapse because of a weak-kneed cosmopolitanism that has lost all sense of itself as a people united in blood, with a destiny.

To a certain extent, Jews fear an angry "wild-cat" breed of populism out in the countryside thrashing around like a gator because they're afraid it could snowball into a pogrom biting them in the leg, and have done their best to "de-fang" it with every means at their disposal with the media they largely shape with money, culture, and staff. To figure out who's in power, think of those who you can't criticize. Anti-Semitism has become the ultimate secular sin in our society, Jews always played up as 100% righteous, innocent victims with their long, tortured history of persecution. . . . . but if you think about it, they probably brought it onto themselves by either 1) siding with modernism for profit or 2) attempting to change society to suit their ends or 3) refusing to assimilate out of stubbornness

Some of the best people in the world are Jews, then again so are the worst people. It happens when you are granted an extra excrescence of intelligence and a sense of restlessness & radical alienation borne of the outsider when you were never raised to believe in a higher spirit. You can choose either to be a better or worse person with the time you have left and many turn "to the dark side". Just look at the kind of characters who run Hollywood and The Recording Industry, and you'll see what I mean.

If groups are supposed to stand for things-- such as group martyrdom or group righteousness, then why can't they be held for group guilt? If you talk about group rights, then can't you talk about group wrongs? There is nothing wrong with pointing out that individual's cultural trajectory, where he came from and how that fits into the larger picture. And those individuals who deserve to be hated should be righteously despised and face the consequences of their actions because it couldn't be said that they didn't have it coming. Natural law would call for nothing less. . . . .

Part VII: "On Misbegotten Pranks, Letter-
Writing Campaigns & Restraining Orders"

If I didn't partially see the world through the lens of an outrageous Borat-style existence-- the pathetic course of events as an outlander wanders around the sullen United States where generosity is about as unyielding as a stone, I would have either been in jail or dead by now. The world joins in if we laugh but abandons us if we cry, so humor and pranks have always been my coping mechanism. Part of intelligence is being able to develop "a third-person perspective" that can stand back and look over at the titanic state of ridiculousness and laugh at it. Most people lack this sense of irony, even "the prankster" when he gets carried away like Motley Crue on stage "all fired up"-- buzzing the heads off of mannequins, or effigies of people, with a chainsaw in a binge of alcohol-fueled destruction (-- the band's, not mine). Certainly, it's fun when you're in "that mental space" but if others aren't they surely won't understand and will be upset or worse. If this becomes serious enough to turn into a problem, you retrench with an "oh" and realize that you won't get "as carried away again" with your stunts. The difference between me and anyone else who might have been have ever once been served up with a restraining order by a sheriff's deputy is that "these disturbed people have no sense of humor" & are generally a pretty sullen, neurotic lot. I read about the character who was convicted of stalking Uma Thurman, and he really thought he was going to get somewhere by sitting on her stoop, trying to break into her trailer, and sending eerie postcards that could easily be misinterpreted. Certainly a good woman by his side would be in his better interest, and mend the cracks in any run-down, bat-infested belfry, but being sullen and neurotic is only going to have the effect of "driving them away". That's why it's better to attempt "mainstreaming" and leave the black, shadowed dungeon to the rats. . . . . or to the cover of heavy metal albums. Never come across like an insane man with his arms over his head, wandering through traffic. . . . . even in jest. Remember "K.I.S.S." or "Keep It Simple Stupid" and you'll never come across as a creep again!