"Pillars of Faith" Screenplay
(A Short Film Written for the Ministry)

 

Pillars of Faith

An Original Screenplay

by

Michael "Lawless" Adams

 

 

Second Draft

Registered by "Insufferable Industries"

In the year of our Lord, 2009

(God help us all!)

 

FADE IN:

BLACK SCREEN

A quote opens: "For what has a man profited, if he shall gain a fraction of the world, and lose his own soul?"

 

INT. Michael's Boyhood Home, 1988, Day (Afternoon)

A stout 7 year-old sits on a mauve couch in HIS MOTHER'S TASTEFULLY DECORATED LIVING ROOM, watching cartoons on St. Louis' "Channel 24"-- a small, religious station run by the Reverend Larry Rice, a benevolent caregiver who offers food and shelter and rehabilitation to the city's homeless. It's "Heathcliff the Cat" and his infectious giggle.

MICHAEL continues to watch on, marginally entertained as only a child can be.

The show cuts to a station break, largely a commercial-free, non-profit venture, and flashes community service messages about helping the homeless, and then old religious messages from the 1970's that resonate with a strong, campy voice of authority. One shows a girl walking through the woods, seeing a tarantula scurrying up a tree, getting frightened, and bolting away-- running panic-stricken through the woods until she trips over a root. And falls down. She finds herself at the feet of a man, Jesus, who helps her up, comforts her, and they walk out of the woods together. A very moving, symbolic commercial.

 

INT. Dining Table, 1988, Night

THE FAMILY is sitting around the table for an informal dinner, the three year-old YOUNGER BROTHER in a high-chair. There is THE FATHER, a hairy, lapsed Lutheran social worker with a bushy beard and THE MOTHER, an upper middle-class secular Jewish woman. The impression is "logy bear" and "high-strung crane".

Michael looks around from parent to parent as they're silently cutting their steak then "pops a question":

 

7 YEAR-OLD MICHAEL

Who's Jesus?

 

The parents look to each other uneasily. Religion has never been much a part of this household.

 

DAD

He was a wise man who lived a very long time ago.

 

7 YEAR-OLD MICHAEL

Then why was he in that commercial?

 

INT. Kitchen, 1988, Night

Michael's PET GOLDFISH swims sluggishly around in it's bowl, not its sprightly self.

 

7 YEAR-OLD MICHAEL

What's wrong with Goldie?

 

HIS MOTHER grimaces uneasily. Death is a strange subject.

 

MOTHER

Oh, I don't know Mr. Michael. I think "Goldie" is sick.

 

7 YEAR-OLD MICHAEL

Will he get better?

 

MOTHER

I can't say. I hope so. . . . . but we might have to get a new goldfish.

 

7 YEAR-OLD MICHAEL

But I like this one!

 

MOTHER

Well, we'll see. . . . .

 

INT. Dad's Area, Third Floor, Night

DAD is preparing for bed, living on the third floor like a college student because the marriage is rocky (-- Michael's parents will get divorced within a year).

MICHAEL asks if he'll pray for his goldfish. In a moment of gravity, of pinched absurdity, he promises he will.

 

INT. Kitchen, Day (Morning)

The night has passed. The day is fresh, and light streams through the kitchen. "Goldie" is floating belly-up. Michael looks at her with an "oh" and runs to get his Mom.

 

7 YEAR-OLD MICHAEL

Mom, mom! Look at Goldie!

 

EXT. Backyard, Day (Morning)

SOUND FX: (Graveyard Spade)

DAD digs a hole in the backyard with a shovel and buries the goldfish in newspaper. MICHAEL stands behind him solemnly with his hands held before his tiny form like a little parson.

As DAD puts up a stick of wood in the hole as a "tombstone", MICHAEL keeps talking with solemnness in his little voice:

 

7 YEAR-OLD MICHAEL

. . . . . and we'll visit the grave every day, and lay down flowers, and keep 'Goldie" in our hearts. . . . .

 

FATHER and SON slowly walk back to the house, the funeral winding down as the boy keeps talking-- getting carried away with piousness for this deceased goldfish as his Dad walks with his head down as if followed by a bad fart.

Piping voice fades

The camera lingers on "Goldie's Grave" then--

FADE TO BLACK

-----------------

Fade in

INT. Living Room, 1991, Day (Afternoon)

A header reads "3 years later"

10 year-old Michael is throwing a storming hissy-fit.

 

10 YEAR-OLD MICHAEL

But I don't want to bring a Bible to camp! That's for goody two-shoes who don't know how to have fun!

 

DAD is getting frustrated as he's arguing, up to the point when he's becoming so overwhelmed that his voice is becoming choppy as he cuts his hand through the air for emphasis.

 

DAD

But Michael, this is a Y.M.C.A. camp. It's just expected that that's what you take. What would you do if you were caught flat-footed?

 

10 YEAR-OLD MICHAEL

Say I'm Jewish!

 

DAD

It's inappropriate!

 

10 YEAR-OLD MICHAEL

Why is it inappropriate?

 

DAD

Because you don't say "Fuck you" to the minister.

 

10 YEAR-OLD MICHAEL

Well, maybe they did all that forced ministry stuff back in the cheesy '70s but this is a new age. They won't bother me.

 

DAD

Take the Bible.

 

10 YEAR-OLD MICHAEL

No!

 

DAD grows tired of arguing and simply stuffs it in the duffel bag.

MICHAEL takes THE BIBLE and half-heartedly tosses it on the floor, sensing that his Dad can't be pushed that much further.

Finally DAD starts shouting with rage and MICHAEL backs down, half-laughing out of incorrigibleness and fear.

 

SCENE CHANGES

EXT. Bus Depot Parking Lot, 1991, Day (Late Morning)

Parents are dropping their kids and their gear off at the parking lot where waiting buses are idling, about to take them to Y.M.C.A. summer camp. Kids are parting, alternately excited and tearful with this great event in their young lives as staff load up their duffel bags in the belly of the vehicles.

A black religious family, dressed in their finest, sees off their 10 year-old son.

 

INT. Boy's Bus

The boys are sitting in their seats, alternately excited or reserved-- talking about comic books or video games.

MICHAEL sits in the window seat, facing out the window self-consciously.

The religious black kid, who we'll call "HENRY", takes a seat next to our hero.

MICHAEL turns his head and says "hello", always wanting to be a gracious host.

 

EXT. Bus Depot Parking Lot, 1991, Day (Late Morning)

The buses begin to leave, one after the other.

 

INT. Boy's Bus

HENRY looks around naively, and goes on and on about "The Lord" and "Jesus". MICHAEL looks around uncomfortably and looks out the window, not sure of what else to do. HENRY offers him a stick of gum and asks if he has been saved.

 

10 YEAR-OLD MICHAEL

Yeah, I guess.

 

HENRY goes on and on about how this is the first time that he's gone to summer camp, and that he's disadvantaged, and that "the Lord God" gave him this opportunity through a discount at the office. This is a world that Michael doesn't readily understand as he nods on politely, HENRY talking on obliviously as if everyone would understand perfectly. Eventually he peters out with a "Praise Jesus".

 

EXT. Beautiful, Scenic Missouri, Day (Noon)

The buses rush past a stationary camera, capturing the feeling that they've long since left the city and are in the middle of the state.

 

INT. Boy's Bus

Conversation has fallen silent, and the boys are hypnotized by the rhythm of the road-- staring off the the side like dog-faced Vietnam recruits.

 

EXT. Y.M.C.A. "Lake of the Ozarks" Gate, Day (Early Afternoon)

The busses pull into the smooth black-top driveway with the shift of pistons.

 

INT. Boy's Bus

The kids look on expectantly, a rise of excitement in the air.

 

10 YEAR-OLD MICHAEL
(Blurting with excitement)

There's Trout Lodge! I stayed there last year with my family!

 

There TROUT LODGE looms from the bus window, a resort that sits on the lakefront.

 

FLASHBACK-- a hazy, dreamlike state of the fancy dining hall with frosted mint cakes, and the media room-- a mauve "cave" with a giant projection screen "t.v". as 9 YEAR-OLD MICHAEL snuggles down and watch cartoons, sipping from a Mountain Dew with his feet up on the coffee table like a little troll.

 

However, the caravan of busses are leaving "TROUT LODGE" behind.

 

INT. Boy's Bus

MICHAEL looks shocked, then dismayed.

 

10 YEAR-OLD MICHAEL
(Uncertainly)

But that's Trout Lodge! Aren't we staying there?

 

MICHAEL gets up in his seat to look out the back window as the bus rumbles on.

Next is a view of the back of the bus driver's head:

 

BUS DRIVER
(Hollering)

SIT DOWN!

 

EXT. Y.M.C.A. Camp Lakewood Central Hub, Day

The bus rudely "scritttches" on a gravel road and comes to a halt next to some ratty cabins, the center of the boy's side of the camp.

The boys get off, and in the melė and confusion the counselors are hollering brusque commands as the camera tracks around in chaotic circles.

 

COUNSELORS

LINE UP WITH YOUR NUMBER. . . . . GET YOUR SHIT OFF THE BUS. . . . . 24 LEFT, RIGHT HERE! GET READY FOR THE SWIM TEST!

 

MICHAEL is asking about "Trout Lodge" but they shake him off.

As OUR YOUNG HERO finds his duffel bags then drags them behind him like a hungry starling weeping for bread crumbs, a voice-over comes on:

 

NARRATION (V.O.)
(Talking with wonder)

Well, truth be told. . . . . that was the destruction of one of my pillars of faith. How the world really worked when you got your expectations yanked out right from under you. It kind of reminded me of the time when I was about five years old, and sitting up in my room. . . . .

 

QUICK-CUT TO:

FLASHBACK

 

INT. Michael's Old Room, 1986, Day.

5 YEAR-OLD MICHAEL sits on the floor playing with a pile of blocks when DAD opens through the door and asks, with his fists clenched and with bunched electricity in his voice,

 

DAD

Hey, Michael-- wanna see a DEAD GOAT?

 

Michael claps his hands together.

 

5 YEAR-OLD MICHAEL

Oh boy, oh boy!

 

EXT. Central West End, 1986, Day (Late Morning)

FATHER & SON walk down the street toward an antique shop in a revitalizing area of restaurants, boutiques, and coffee houses. There in the window hangs a stuffed trophy of a goat's head.

 

SOUND FX-- (Passing Traffic)

 

5 YEAR-OLD MICHAEL
(Throwing a hissy-fit)

You cheated me! You cheated me! That's just the head!

 

Dad puts on an embarrassed face, one that is frowning down with this absurdity, trying not to laugh.

 

DAD

Settle down, Michael.

 

THE BOY continues to fuss.

 

[FLASHBACK ENDS]

 

SCENE CHANGES

INT. Y.M.C.A. Mess Hall, Day (Early Evening)

In the milling hall the director leads us in a gratitude prayer before setting down to eat supper, "The Johnny Appleseed" song:

 

"Oh, as I sit down
as I thank the Lord
for giving me
the things I need
the sun, and the rain, and the apple seeds
the Lord has been good to me. . . . ."

 

MICHAEL looks up from his bowed head and passes his eyes around, frowning. He shall be defiant to the end, one supposes.

 

SCENE CHANGES

EXT. "Pop-Stop", Day (Mid-Afternoon)

At around 3 P.M. boys and girls line up to get their token soda and candy bar from the store. The boys keep to themselves, and oggle the girls-- two species apart.

 

NARRATION (V.O.)
(Talking with wonder)

This was as all-American as it got. The P.X, candy bars, soda, looking at girls but not quite having the nerve to go up and talk to them. . . . . we were like American G.I's in the South Pacific.

 

CUT TO:

NEWSREEL FOOTAGE of smiling soldiers from World War II. Dancing with hula girls, drinking beer, having a good time.

 

EXT. The Boat-House, Day (Mid-Afternoon)

Some older boys around 12 years-old have drifted away from the store and are hanging out by the boat house out of earshot of the adults and are telling dirty jokes about women of the Far East and the vulgar triumphalism of the USA.

Cut to shot of George H.W. Bush photograph as they're laughing-- what does our President know about the wiles of American youth?

 

EXT, Horse Barn, Day (Mid-Afternoon)

At the horse barn, male and female WRANGLERS strut around like cowboys-- taciturn and literal-minded. In the meanwhile, a scattering of girls hang out, waiting to get on the horses. They happened to get there a few minutes early, and MICHAEL is waiting along with them.

The camera focuses on a pile of horse shit and some flies darting around with a "bzzzzzzzzz".

MICHAEL slaps a mosquito.

SOUND FX-- (Furious, wailing sirens)

 

EXT. Camp Service Road, Day (Mid-Afternoon)

An ambulance wails down the road at 90 miles an hour

 

EXT. Horse Barn, Day (Mid-Afternoon)

THE CAMPERS look around, surprised. This is certainly an unusual occurrence

THE OFFICE PHONE rings in the little HORSE BARN ALCOVE, and A WRANGLER talks on the phone-- stirred up.

THE WRANGLER comes out of the door and squints up at the sky, a sense of a heavy and oppressive silence as THE CAMPERS look after him.

 

10 YEAR-OLD MICHAEL

What happened?

 

WRANGLER

Girl fell off a horse. Horse stepped on her.

 

The camera cuts to a wide shot of THE HORSE BARN, looking down at an angle at THE WRANGLER, GIRLS, and MICHAEL as a narration comes on.

 

NARRATION (V.O.)
(Talking with wonder)

It was then that the idea of God as "a Santa Claus in the sky" died for me. The world was just too grotesque. . . . .

 

SCENE CHANGES

INT. Corrugated Flea-Market Building, 1993, DAY (Mid-Afternoon)

12 YEAR-OLD MICHAEL, His 8 YEAR-OLD BROTHER, and DAD are wondering through a flea market like pilgrims through an Arabian bazaar.

12 YEAR-OLD MICHAEL is flipping through some old "Nintendo Power" magazines when a pretty 13 year-old girl comes up and taps him on the shoulder. He looks into her eyes and blushes, overcome by her friendly beauty as the sound of an organ plays.

 

13 YEAR-OLD MYSTERY GIRL

Follow me. . . . .

 

She leads him over to the revivalist tent outside where HER FATHER is speaking into A WORLD WAR II ERA MICROPHONE SYSTEM, completely possessed by the spirit, pacing back and forth.

MICHAEL stands there, open-mouthed, looking at the grungy adults sitting in lawn-chairs.

THE LITTLE USHERETTE leaves the tent, and MICHAEL looks out after her.

As he looks around, he notices a bunch of other boys of all ages standing there in the tent looking confused and uncomfortable. . . . . brought in by this "honey-trap".

MICHAEL hurries out as THE PREACHER shouts "HALLEJUEAH!"

 

SCENE CHANGES

INT. "In & Out" Corner-Store, 1993, Day (Late Afternoon)

12 year-old MICHAEL lays down A QUARTER for cheap candy down at the corner store.

He reaches for an issue of "The Weekly World News" that screams, "Batboy Found in Cave!"

NARRATION (V.O.)
(Cynical tone)

If something seems too good to be true, it probably is. . . . .

 

OUR HERO plays an X-Men arcade game and sips soda at THE CORNER STORE.

 

EXT. Richmond Heights Neighborhood, 1993, Day (Late Afternoon)

MICHAEL walks back to the new home his DAD has just moved into, the moving truck outside with a ton of boxes sitting in the driveway of the lower middle-class neighborhood.

A BOY about 14 years old stands outside and investigates like a skinny, vile street-rat-- a pale face that tightly stretched out his jittery eyebrows, wearing a relaxed expression of malevolent calculation. Call him DAMONE, and he is like Huck Finn without a moral compass as he greets his "new playmate" with a raspy salutation.

MICHAEL is behumbled, and always wants to be gracious and open-minded "with all hailing frequencies open".

DAMONE leads OUR HERO down the street to house kitty-corner to his, about 300 feet out-of-view and gives him a tour of the neighborhood.

 

EXT. Damone's Run-Down Shack, 1993, Day. (Late Afternoon)

The house is a beat-up, run-down shack like a poisoned mushroom at the end of the street. Overturned shopping carts and loose lumber fashioned into skateboard ramps litter the front yard like rubble. Windowless drapes flutter in the ominous breeze and the unlocked door lays ajar.

 

INT. Damone's Run-Down Shack, 1993

The camera follows THE TWO BOYS in, a tracking shot of chaos and woe as a half-mad, half-deaf, OLD CRANKY GRANDMA fusses and asks who the stranger is in befuddlement.

A BABY BOY howls in a crib.

DAMONE'S DRUNK MOM weaves around the kitchen like a charity queen from a 19th century Irish tenement. It was Damone's birthday a couple of days ago, and A CAKE sits on the table-- practically the only food in the house. She asks if MICHAEL wants a piece, and he declines politely-- freaked out at this dysfunctional family.

THE BOYS go to DAMONE'S sparse room, and there in the corner lays A FILTHY MATTRESS on the floor wrapped up in TANGLED SHEETS. On the floor is A NINTENDO and NEW GAMES IN BOXES, a BRAND NEW BOOM-BOX and a bunch of CRUDDY HEAVY METAL TAPES. On the window ledge is a CB RADIO.

 

14 YEAR-OLD DAMONE

Hold on a second. . . . .

 

He turns on the CB RADIO and static blasts the room until he presses THE MIC BUTTON and goes into a feral voice:

 

14 YEAR-OLD DAMONE

This is "Battery-Charger". . . . . This is "Battery-Charger". . . . . do you read? This is "Battery-Charger". . . . .

 

A voice comes over the CB, very vague and ghostly-- nothing can be made out.

 

12 YEAR-OLD MICHAEL
(Curiously)

Who do you talk to?

 

14 YEAR-OLD DAMONE

Truckers!

 

12 YEAR-OLD MICHAEL

I never knew how to work a CB Radio.

 

14 YEAR-OLD DAMONE

It's real easy. They're nice to you and they give you things.

 

12 YEAR-OLD MICHAEL

They give you things? Free stuff? Why?

 

14 YEAR-OLD DAMONE

Because they're my friends.

 

12 YEAR-OLD MICHAEL

Is that how you got all this stuff?

 

14 YEAR-OLD DAMONE

You bet!

 

12 YEAR-OLD MICHAEL
(Somewhat uncertainly as he looks
at all this bottom-of-the-line stuff)

Wow, cool. . . . .

 

14 YEAR-OLD DAMONE
(Completely casual and offhand)

You can get in on it and walk with me down to the parking lot behind "Big Lots" and talk to 'em.

 

CUT TO:

Clip of Big Rigs idling in the parking lot.

 

MICHAEL looks around, perplexed and somewhat uncomfortable.

 

12 YEAR-OLD MICHAEL

"I don't know. . . . ."

 

SCENE CHANGES

EXT. Dad's Backyard, 1993, Twilight (Night)

MICHAEL is kicking a ball around out in the backyard. It's turning blue outside with sunset's shadows as night descends on the neighborhood,

DAD comes outside of the SCREEN DOOR with a quiet slam, a grave expression on his face, and with as much soberness and seriousness possible as an experienced social worker with years in the field goes into one of the most important father-son lectures of his life:

 

DAD

Michael, I don't want you hanging out with Damone. I believe that he is trading sexual favors with those truckers for gifts.

(Waving his hand for emphasis)

I don't want you walking down there with him for ANY REASON whatsoever. I'm your father and I love you and this is like a nest of snakes. STAY BACK. . . . .

 

MICHAEL gulps, wide-eyed. This is one of those darker "facts-of-life" conversations.

 

SCENE CHANGES

EXT. Michael's Boyhood Home, 1993, Day (Late Afternoon)

DAD picks MICHAEL and JESSE (the younger brother, now an 8 year-old) and drives back to their new neighborhood.

 

EXT. Richmond Heights Neighborhood, 1993

THE BLUE STATION-WAGON is driving down the street, and as MICHAEL looks out the window he sees DAMONE'S HOUSE and about 12 wild, young hooligans skateboarding and looking malevolent. DAMONE looks at the car and casts a malingering, bad-ass expression meant to "psych-out" the sheltered boy who's too scared to join them.

 

SCENE CHANGES

CUT TO:

Clip of "Legend of Zelda" Nintendo game, an elfin hero running around with a sword and striking enemies with magic as a plucky fantasy score plays.

 

NARRATION (V.O.)

In a world without God, the risk of complete annihilation seemed very great--

 

BACK to "The Legend of Zelda"-- Link in the game surrounded by enemies in a labyrinth, overwhelmed, and killed. He spins around, around, and around before disappearing into nothingness with a little "plucking" sound as the screen goes from red to black

 

NARRATION (V.O.)

-- and could turn you into a total pussy.

 

CUT TO CLIP of "Dr. Strangelove" when the Peter Sellers character as the spineless lieutenant is sadly sitting on the couch talking to General Ripper, gently trying to convince him "to give up" and surrender to the army that's shooting through the windows of the compound to stop the rebel from blowing up the world.

General Ripper is muttering to himself, holding a smoking machine gun that he fires back, chewing a cigar like a hyper patriot while Sellers acts like the faggy, chirpy Britishman who is like a wet dishrag. The general is in a bleak state of depression, and decides to walk into the washroom.

Sellers presumes that he's "washing up" to look presentable, but then the general commits suicide with a pistol, blocking the door with his body. The lieutenant rushes over to the door and tries to force it open, but can't-- death is permanent and shocking.

 

SCENE CHANGES

INT. High School Library, 1997, Day.

15 year-old MICHAEL sits at the library table when "wigger" bullies push OUR HERO around, taking the table over "for we-selves an' our bitches" and simply removing his backpack and binders with a ruthless force of will that overwhelms the weaker, nicer character.

 

SCENE CHANGES

INT. High School Art Room, 1997

Before class, 15 year-old MICHAEL walks into the art room and sets down his backpack. In the corner are a gaggle of TRASHY GIRLS who giggle to themselves. OUR HERO is very conservative, shy, and uptight-- especially at the sight of CHRISSY-- this elfin girl who is so dazzlingly good-looking that she looks like an anime character.

THE GIRL GANG gossip amongst themselves, "up to no good", then one of them comes up and utters promiscuous suggestions in MICHAEL'S EAR before going back to their seats. Then one of them gets up on one of the art room tables and starts dancing like a stripper as they laugh uproariously.

The bell rings and they settle down as THE ART TEACHER comes into the room, a languid Polish-American art teacher who carries on like the director, Tim Burton, but even more lugubrious. He sits down and crosses his arms, lost inside of himself, as other students file into the room. They are good kids, ordinary kids.

THE LANGUID ART TEACHER gives us instructions to symbolically "paint what we feel" in a drooping voice. Kids are drawing pretty landscapes, or flowers, or anything that comes to mind. MICHAEL is drawing a twisted, bleeding thorn bush under a dark, menacing sky.

THE SLUTS are just goofing off and giggling. A pathetic LITTLE WIGGER with jaudiced skin and a cap backward, dressed in yellow, is nodding along with the easy lure of sex in the air while THE ART TEACHER sits with his arms crossed, lost deep within himself.

This is a dark, ugly scene where no one is standing up to this pathetic degree of evil in the air. The camera cuts to MICHAEL'S eyes frowning, going back and forth from THE GIRLS, to THE WIGGER, to THE ART TEACHER. 'Round and 'round and 'round. The camera focuses on the moving clock, the march of time, then the bell rings. I watch the girls leave, particularly CHRISSY, with great frowning sadness.

 

NARRATION (V.O.)

What was this, but "the banality of evil". Nothing could stop it. And if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Become a depraved rodent too!

 

CUT TO:

Picture of Duff McKagan, the bassist of "Guns n' Roses" posing for the camera, taking a world-weary drag off his cigarette while staring seedily at the photographer.

CUT TO:

Clip of "Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure" of the two teenagers going "gnarly!" and "righteous!" and twiddling their fingers to the sound of a petty, juvenile guitar solo.

 

SCENE CHANGES

FLASHBACK:

10 year-old MICHAEL and his friend, GEORGE are out on the playground, acting wild and hyperactive and out-of-control like juvenile delinquents laughing and having a good time.

GEORGE is a short, frenzied kid-- profitlessly defending his buffoonish dignity, screeching insults, as he shoves back kids on the playground and I back him up as the muscle of this duo, thinking this is hilarious. GEORGE is Italian. Maybe half-Korean, but he's bronze and talks like he's from Brooklyn or Philadelphia like a tough guy.

 

SCENE CHANGES

GEORGE frenetically slaps the buttons and jerks the joysticks of an arcade game down at the local bowling alley

 

NARRATION (V.O.)

I remembered my old friend, George, back in summer day camp when we called ourselves 'the terror twins'. It was all about the change in your ripped jeans' pockets, the quick fix, and the hip dodge. . . . . FUCK RESPONSIBILITY!"

 

CUT TO:

Clip of Classic "Yellow Key" Auto Insurance Commercial.

The gist goes as follows-- a guy waits in line at the Department of Motor Vehicles and told flatly that "You need proof of insurance, sir" by an elephantine bureaucrat. The man is stunned and open-mouthed. Then out of nowhere: "Excuse me", a black guy in short sleeves putting his arm around the hapless white sack of shit like a hip cartoon character, like a combination of "Bugs Bunny" and "Apollo Flash". He then gives you the pitch for the service, his Afro-ed head tilted back in ironic comment. What is required is 1) Driver's License and 2) Paycheck Stub. As the newly-enlightened disciple runs off to get those things, the black pitchman flashes an easy smile and gives the camera a thumb's up. Livin' large, m'man!

 

NARRATION (V.O.)

. . . . . to get back what used to be, in this rotten world that had stolen my youth!

 

SCENE CHANGES

17 year-old MICHAEL sits in his Mother's home office area, surrounded by A JUNGLE OF POTTED PLANTS, and picks up THE PHONE which is attached to a twisted white cord.

He dials GEORGE'S number out of AN OLD TELEPHONE BOOK.

A slurred voice answers, speaking in monosylbolic ebonics. MICHAEL is uptight and reserved, unsure of he even dialed the right number or somehow reached a telephone in the ghetto.

 

MICHAEL

Uh, um, er-- I may have the wrong number, um uh, but I'm looking for George Rudowicz

 

[A pause on the line]

 

GEORGE

This be George.

 

MICHAEL

Really? You sound different.

 

[Silence]

 

MICHAEL

Well, um, uh, you may not remember me, but my name is Michael Adams and we used to hang out years ago.

 

GEORGE

Oh. . . . . yea.

 

MICHAEL

I was wondering if you wanted to hang out again one of these days.

 

[An awkward pause]

 

GEORGE

Sho'.

 

MICHAEL

What abound some time this week?

 

 

GEORGE

Yea.

 

MICHAEL

Friday night? Maybe 7 or 8 'o clock?

 

 

GEORGE

Right.

 

MICHAEL

Friday night? Maybe 7 or 8 'o clock?

 

GEORGE

Yea.

 

MICHAEL

Great. See you there!

 

SCENE CHANGES

EXT. George's Duplex, 1999, Night

THE FAMILY-STATION WAGON pulls up to the duplex in a middle-class neighborhood. A GROUP OF TEENAGERS are hanging out like stray alley cats, marginal "wiggers" who had their opportunity to succeed at a nice school but never chose to use it. THEY USE PEOPLE INSTEAD, as they nod bemusedly at MICHAEL'S PRESENCE, the straight middle-class kid who doesn't "fit in", and see it all as a "big joke".

MICHAEL quietly sits down as GEORGE rocks on his feet in a tank-top with a beer in hand, full of idle boasts and misadventure. For the next 60 seconds, the conversation is ad-libbed-- the camera going from MICHAEL, to GEORGE, to THE GANG, and back as the inky night presses in, hot and humid and oppressive.

 

RANDOM HOOLIGAN #1

We need some beer!

 

RANDOM HOOLIGAN #2

Well, Mike here has a car!

 

ENTIRE GANG

YEA! Beer, beer, beer!

 

GEORGE gestures that he'll ride along with MICHAEL, only glad to have a sense of purpose in this awkward melange.

They get in THE STATION-WAGON and drive off.

 

MICHAEL and George begin a conversation as it begins to drizzle. It's dark outside, and rain droplets smatter against the windshield-- the orange streetlights streaking against the windows. GEORGE is facing out the window, or staring straight ahead. He doesn't know what to say, numbed by the alcohol and the drugs.

 

INT./EXT. Station-Wagon, 1999, Night.

 

MICHAEL
(Trying to break the ice)

So George. . . . . Good to see you. I haven't seen you in years! What have you been up to?

 

GEORGE

Prison.

 

MICHAEL
(Attempting to hide his shock)

Prison? Really?! What for?

 

GEORGE

Burglary.

 

As GEORGE continues to stare out the window, a voice-over narrates:

 

NARRATION (V.O.)

As I would gradually piece together, he had robbed his next-door neighbor in the duplex, ran upstairs to his side, and was caught under his bed by the police with his feet stickin' out from under the mattress.

 

CUT TO:

FLASHBACK:

GEORGE crawling through an open window, running off with a VCR, getting spotted by a neighbor with an "oh SHIT!", running up the stairs to his house, and the police lifting the cover up where HIS FEET are blatantly revealed!

 

BACK TO THE CONVERSATION (Station-Wagon)

 

MICHAEL

How long were you "locked up"?

 

GEORGE

Six months.

 

MICHAEL

Did you join a gang?

 

GEORGE

No.

 

MICHAEL

Oh.

 

EXT. Arena Liquor, 1999, Night.

THE STATION-WAGON pulls into "Arena Liquor".

MICHAEL and GEORGE sit in the car, their faces lit by the neon signs.

 

GEORGE

You got any "grip", man?

 

MICHAEL looks puzzled.

 

MICHAEL

Do I have any what?

 

GEORGE

"Grip"!

 

MICHAEL'S brow is furrowed, his head cocked as if he doesn't understand.

 

GEORGE
(Getting frustrated)

Grip. Money, man!

 

MICHAEL

Oh.

 

MICHAEL writhes in his seat and comes up with HIS WALLET.

 

 

MICHAEL
(Conservative, gruff, naively taking
part in this unfamiliar ritual)

Would $8 do?

 

GEORGE

Yea. . . . .

 

GEORGE brusquely gets out of the car, slams the door behind him, and quickly swaggers across the parking lot into the liquor store.

Through the window we can see him picking up A CASE OF BEER, hefting it onto the counter, paying the little Pakastani clerk, and swaggering out with THE BEER back to the car.

The CAR DOOR slams, and MICHAEL is amazed.

 

MICHAEL

Wow, I can't believe you pulled that off! They didn't even card you!

 

GEORGE

Just gotta find the right places, man,

 

MICHAEL

Think about it, all this beer! We can get totally drunk!

 

GEORGE says nothing, and merely stares out the window like an alcoholic slug.

 

SCENE CHANGES

EXT. George's Duplex, 1999, Night

THE FAMILY STATION-WAGON pulls up in front of GEORGE'S DUPLEX, and now MORE HOOLIGANS are outside.

Car doors slam, and MICHAEL and GEORGE approach THE STOOP.

MICHAEL'S HANDS are thrust in his pockets self-consciously while GEORGE carries THE BEER.

THE CASE is set down on THE STOOP.

EAGER HANDS take one or two a piece. When all is said and done--

MICHAEL holds up ONE MEASLY BEER and frowns at the fates, raising his eyebrows in irony and toasting himself, and drinking cautiously amid GUZZLING SOUNDS and SPIRITED LAUGHTER.

He sits down while they "whoop it up" wildly. GEORGE stands on the sidewalk, rocking on his heels with idle boasts, with beer in hand.

 

EXT. The Sky, Night.

THE MOON moves through the clouds in sped-up motion

 

EXT. George's Duplex, 1999, Night.

GEORGE & THE GANG still whooping it up, throwing BEER BOTTLES out in the street where they shatter.

MICHAEL asks GEORGE if there's any soda in the house.

 

GEORGE

Follow me.

 

MICHAEL follows him up the stairs.

 

INT. George's Duplex, 1999, Night.

In an unbroken "shaky-cam" shot, the camera tracks them upward to the living space.

 

CUT TO:

TWO BLACK POODLES barking up at the top of the stairs in consternation.

 

The camera follows THE BOYS' BACKS as they walk through the living room where GEORGE'S FATHER sits, a very nervous man sitting with all his electronic toys bought with the late '90s E-Z credit boom-- a widescreen television, a DVD player, and a fancy computer. The sense is that the family is chaotic and has no financial discipline.

GEORGE'S FATHER asks who the guest is nervously, not liking his son's friends in the house.

 

GEORGE

He be coo'.

 

The camera swings back to GEORGE walking through the kitchen.

THE FRIDGE DOOR opens to reveal a threadbare assortment of food, and a bottle of Sunkist orange soda about 7/8th's empty. GEORGE hands over the bottle, almost tenderly.

 

GEORGE

Here.

 

EXT. George's Duplex, 1999, Night

Back to the stoop-- ANOTHER FIGURE sits, and he is mellow, evil-- like a character out of a Charles Dickens novel.

 

INT. George's Duplex (Staircase), 1999, Night

The camera follows MICHAEL coming down the steps with THE BOTTLE OF ORANGE SODA and standing momentarily in the doorway. THE MYSTERY CHARACTER is halfway turned around, then spots OUR HERO. . . . . HIS EYES WIDENING IN MALEVOLENCE, and he turns around all the way, ARCHING HIS EYEBROWS.

 

[FLASHBACK]

DAMONE staring down the passing station-wagon, "psyching out" his new neighbor.

 

Now 19 year-old DAMONE turns around all the way, his eyes opening up as far as they will go with evil electricity and starts ripping into OUR HERO with a rapid-fire sense of absurdity:

 

DAMONE

Whoa, wait, what. Who the HELL are you?

 

A momentary pause.

 

DAMONE

Hey, wait-- I remember! YEAH! What the FUCK is your ass doing here?

 

As MICHAEL stands there awkwardly, fingering HIS BOTTLE OF SODA, a narration comes on:

 

NARRATION (V.O.)

For all my sense of social dislocation that moment, I might as well have been a man in a Mickey Mouse suit waving at Disneyland-- or maybe a cheap imitation knockoff!

 

CUT TO:

Surreal moment of a man in A CHEAP RAT SUIT waving to THE HOOLIGANS on the porch, lit in the doorway like a children's television mascot.

BACK TO DAMONE.

He is charged up with power, slightly order than the rest-- the leader.

 

DAMONE

So you want to join us, man? You have to pass the test! Walk on up to Oaknell park. Let's go!

 

THE GANG gets up and walks, finally finding semi-purposefully to do.

 

EXT. Richmond Heights Neighborhood, 1999, Night

They walk down the street like a shiftless pack of bull-moose, making all sorts of noise.

 

EXT. Oaknell Park, 1999, Night

THE GANG walks down the hill toward the pond where they sit around the masonry like alley cats, soaking up the sleazy atmosphere.

DAMONE lights A JOINT and leans forward.

 

DAMONE

Smoke this!

 

MICHAEL studies THE JOINT burning between DAMONE'S FINGERS, waits a moment to soak up the maximum absurdity, then cracks a self-effacing joke.

 

MICHAEL

This is like all those times in the guidance counselor's class when they were telling you to resist peer pressure!

 

THE GANG exclaims "WHAT?!" in disgust.

 

DAMONE
(Looking over with a bemused smirk)

So you're saying that you won't take the initiation? Smoke the weed!

 

 

THE GANG
(Chiming in at once)

Yeah, smoke the weed!

 

MICHAEL
(Holding up his hand)

Pot really isn't my thing.

 

GEORGE throws an EMPTY BEER BOTTLE into the pond.

DAMONE leans forward with a malevolent expression.

 

DAMONE
(Shrugging)

Whatever, man. Hang out with us, we'll get you a girl, we'll get you an attitude, you'll be a big fat fuckin' pimp daddy!

 

MICHAEL looks somewhat awkward embarrassed, smilingly slightly, AS HOOLIGANS LAUGH.

NARRATION comes on as the gang hangs out by the fountain, idling and smoking and "high-fiving".

 

NARRATION (V.O.)

Why did I continue to hang out with these delinquents? To feel 'more real' I guess, like I was 'in touch' with a sense of danger, more attuned to my senses, [SNORTING WITH LAUGHTER] living out my life to the fullest. And most importantly, to get a shot at Chrissy. . . . .

 

CUT TO:

Clip of CHRISSY posing like a demure 1980's model, a true "Glamour Girl" with the sound of a flashbulb.

 

SCENE CHANGES

EXT. Richmond Heights Neighborhood, 1999, Night

THE HOOLIGANS are alternately walking, then running through the shadows on the way to DAMONE'S RUN-DOWN SHACK.

MICHAEL asks why they're "sneaking around", but gets evasive answers.

 

EXT. Damone's Run-Down Shack, 1999, Night

THE GANG is standing outside DAMONE'S PLACE-- the yard is filthy and the air of evil n' marginality saturates everything.

Sound FX: (Rheeeing crickets)

 

 

INT. Damone's Run-Down Shack, 1999, Night

DAMONE'S HAND pulls THE CHAIN that turns on the single 40-watt bulb in the kitchen, lighting everything in a way that might as well be a haze in the Mississippi Delta for all the sweltering humidity.

DAMONE picks up a BOOM-BOX in the corner and plugs it in, turning it to a "gangsta rap" radio station.

THE GANG sits around THE KITCHEN TABLE, drinking MALT LIQUORS and SMOKING CIGARETTES, saying little. It's one of those hot, steaming St. Louis evenings so THE TEENAGERS are peeling off their shirts in the humid, smoky atmosphere. MICHAEL is self-conscious about his weight, so remains dressed. DAMONE ribs him about it. "Da Crew"-- wearing backward baseball caps and doo-rags, say little.

DAMONE'S CRANKY GRANDMA comes in and raises a storm.

 

CRANKY GRANDMA
(Fussing)

What's going on here? It's too late for this nonsense! I want them out of my house, you hear.

 

DAMONE looks down at the table in frustration, sighs, then orders her out like he's speaking to a deaf & dumb person.

 

DAMONE

IT'S FINE. GO TO BED.

 

CRANKY GRANDMA
(Hard-of-hearing, uncomprehending)

What?

 

DAMONE

GO TO BED.

 

CRANKY GRANDMA

I want 'em out.

 

DAMONE
(Raising his fist)

SHUT UP, BITCH!

 

They continue to go 'round and 'round as THE GANG says little. Finally, DAMONE pushes his chair back and hollers in her face with his fist raised and drives her off, hobbling into the other room.

 

CRANKY GRANDMA

I'm going to throw you out in the morning. . . . .

 

DAMONE
(Shaking his head in frustration)

Whatever, bitch.

 

Matters settle down for a little bit.

Then GEORGE takes out A SMALL BOTTLE OF "151" from his baggy pants' pocket.

[*Note to reader: "151" is the sort of 200 proof alcoholic mixture that you stir into giant punch bowls, and even then. . . . . in limited quantities]

THE GANG passes it around, taking small, cautious sips with significance like a grotto of brothers.

 

MICHAEL
(Squinting)

What is that?

 

 

GEORGE
(Speaking in slurred, Ebonics voice)

"151".

 

He doesn't explain further.

 

THE BOTTLE is passed to MICHAEL, who impudently swigs, then sprays it back up, gasping and choking.

THE GANG panics.

 

HOOLIGAN

GET HIM A SODA!

 

MICHAEL is gasping with great whooping breaths, grabbing the soda and sipping through THE STRAW like a boxer laid up in his corner at the 20th round.

Just then, PARIS-- Damone's 15 year-old sister-- comes through the door with A MEEK, SCRUFFY 20 YEAR-OLD hanging onto her arm possessively, her eyes lit wide with frightened compassion. She is spunky, ungainly, rough, and cute-- and the only one who is showing any bit of decency as MICHAEL attempts to regain his composure.

 

PARIS

Oh my GOD! What's happening around here? Are you alright? HOLY SHIT!

 

The crisis winds down.

Then MICHAEL hurries past PARIS to get into the bathroom.

 

INT. Damone's Bathroom, 1999, Night

The camera focuses on THE CLOSED DOOR.

SOUND FX (Knock on the door)

PARIS asks if MICHAEL is o.k. with tender teenaged feminine concern. She also adds, as an after-thought, that "the toilet is broken!".

MICHAEL is on his hands and knees over the lid and casts the door A HAUNTED EXPRESSION.

SOUND FX (Muffled gagging)

 

MICHAEL reemerges in the kitchen, announcing without fanfare that he has to go home now, sniffling, his face inflamed as if he's gotten a snoot-full of tear gas.

Everyone is still high off the excitement, including PARIS.

 

PARIS

Like, oh my God. . . . .

 

MICHAEL turns around and leaves.

THE GANG look to each other around the table-- DAMONE raises his hand in the air, lowers it up and down as if to say "I'll handle this" with a sly, criminal expression

 

EXT. Damone's Run-Down Shack, Night.

MICHAEL steps off of DAMONE'S porch and struggles down the sidewalk, sniffling with his inflamed sinuses.

 

DAMONE
(Manipulatively)

Hey man, you like going to be o.k?

 

MICHAEL
(Soberly, looking for the humor)

Yeah. I suppose that "I had too much".

 

DAMONE

You take care of yourself, alright? Come back next time.

 

MICHAEL

You bet. See you later. . . . .

 

There is a shot of the moon in the sky, and the sound of crickets in the humid night as if nature has no comment on human affairs.

 

 

SCENE CHANGES

INT. George's Duplex, 1999, Day (Mid-Afternoon)

THE GANG is sitting on the couch and chairs around the table in this apartment space of clean white walls as the sunlight of afternoon shines through the windows.

DAMONE is pacing back and forth.

GEORGE is flipping through the yellow-pages, then dialing hotels with a cordless phones. He wants to know if they'll rent out to adults under 21. He doesn't want to tell them that it's for his hotel party. The answer is negative, and he feigns politeness before hanging up with the press of a button.

 

GEORGE
(Exclamation with outraged frenzy)

SHIT, man!

 

DAMONE walks up and bares his teeth in worry, offering to "take over".

 

Then GEORGE'S FATHER comes into the room and tries to impart some kind of parental wisdom:

 

GEORGE'S FATHER
(Nervous, spinelessly)

George, if you had any sense at all, you would not have this party. This is stupid. Really FUCKING STUPID. Remember the last time you had a hotel party? You all got rowdy and the cops came! You're on probation, for Christ's sake!

 

THE GANG look down at the floor, not saying anything.

GEORGE half-looks at his DAD:

 

DAMONE

We won't do nuthin'. . . . . .

 

THE FATHER half-throws up his hands and leaves the room. So much for parenting!

DAMONE takes over the phone with a "here".

MICHAEL raises his eyebrows at this uncomfortable situation and looks away because there is nothing that can be done.

 

SOUND FX: (Light tromping up the stairs, getting louder & louder)

CHRISSY walks into the room. She is lithe, feminine, gorgeous, and quite stoned-- dressed in jeans and a slender, flower-print chemise that bares her midriff like a fashion bought off the rack down at the local mall. She looks over THE GANG without interest and takes a bored seat next to GEORGE, crossing her leg and resting her head on her hand in utter sleepy vapidity, staring at the wall.

 

Close-up of Michael looking excited, self-conscious, nervous, exhilarated.

Sound FX: (The sound of thumping heart-beats and mounting tension synthesizers suggesting rank terror, stress. . . . . rising, rising, rising to absurd, comic-opera levels)

Meanwhile, THE GANG drinks beers. Turning THE BOTTLES straight up.

BACK to MICHAEL-- "The tension effect" reaches a crescendo,

THEN--

MICHAEL starts making fluid, manic, hyper-intelligent, pointless conversation with them-- trying tos eem clever and smart and catch CHRISSY'S ATTENTION

But ALAS--

She is staring at the wall like a pineapple.

MICHAEL starts pontificating about "N.O.R.M.L." or "The National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws" and THE GANG looks at him as if he's speaking Swahilli.

He is "getting nowhere fast".

MICHAEL picks up his chair and carries it over to where CHRISSY sits, like a jade statue.

The camera focuses on his intent expression as he asks her if she has have heard of this liberal activist organization.

CHRISSY doesn't react.

MICHAEL stutters, gulps, and attempts a different "tack".

Someone calls out, off-camera-- "Hey, Chrissy-- he's talking to you!"

CHRISSY wakens from her stoned reverie, as if she's being poked with a four-inch stick. She smiles, and regains her concentration.

 

MICHAEL

Have you ever heard of "N.O.R.M.L"?

 

CHRISSY
(Yawning, half-awake)

Normal? No. Never heard of it.

 

MICHAEL begins to lecture like "a little professor".

 

MICHAEL

N.O.R.M.L. stands for 'The National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws' You have two types of people who join the organization. One, people who just want to get high. Two, people who are concerned how the drug war is being fought, taking away our civil liberties and stuff. At one time, I believed. . . . .

 

CHRISSY loses interest.

 

CHRISSY
(Turning back to the wall)

That's nice. . . . .

 

MICHAEL struggles for words, but trails off with a "mmrrrph". Defeat is not easy, especially when negated at his strongest personal points.

THE GANG continues to drink, tipping their BEER BOTTLES straight up.

 

DAMONE walks into the room like a general

 

DAMONE

O.K, we found one. It's way out in Hazelwood. Let's load up in Mike and Chrissy's cars.

 

GEORGE'S FATHER stands impotently in the hallway, protesting that it's a "bad idea" even as the gang shoulders past him like Mad Max's gang. MICHAEL is the last one out, and calls out for everyone to hear:

 

MICHAEL
(Cracking an inappropriate joke)

Don't worry, if he gets wild we'll bind George with a lamp cord.

 

It is of small comfort to GEORGE'S DAD, who breaks down in tears.

 

MICHAEL
(Showing concern, laying a hand on his shoulder)

Hey, don't worry. I'll keep 'em in check.

 

GEORGE'S FATHER
(Shrieking)

WHY DO YOU HANG OUT WITH THEM?!

 

MICHAEL

Well, it's kind of like Kiefer Sutherland in "Young Guns". "It's like a whirlwind and once you get into it, you can't get out".

 

Camera shows a second-story window view of the gang idling in the street, shadow-boxing.

 

EXT. George's Neighborhood, 1999, Day

The cars take off

 

EXT./INT. Michael's Station-Wagon, 1999, Day

From "a taxi-cab" backseat shot, MICHAEL sits at THE STEERING WHEEL and two parties have broken out, a single individual who wants to play AC/DC "Live" on the car stereo-- which plays to the other party's groans, the majority whom want to listen to "a gangsta rap tape".

MICHAEL carries on in mock-disagreement before shrugging and finally putting on "Bones, Thugs, & Harmony". THE GANG is nodding along, into it. MICHAEL nods along too, but is like a bumbling suburbanoid Chevy Chase in "The National Lampoon Vacation" movies.

Clearly he's not part of "da' crew".

 

EXT. North County Highway, 1999, Day (Late Afternoon)

An overhead shot of rushing cars heading off into the shimmering distance, suggests great waste, emptiness, and futility. . . . . the sad, slow inertia of things that is 100% removed from the quick-cut world of MTV. Of motel prostitutes, 7-car pile-ups, and guts splattered down the road in one lonely, shitty excuse for lowest common-denominator existence.

 

The hotel towers in the sky

 

EXT. Hotel Parking Lot, 1999, Sunset

THE GANG stands out in the parking lot, hidden out in back where they can't be seen.

DAMONE comes around, holding up THE KEYS and jingling them like a magic talisim.

High-fives, "yeah, man's", a carnival of festivities.

MICHAEL joins in the revelry.

 

But just when he's about to follow the gang up to the room--

GEORGE STOPS HIM.

The two of them have to go back and pick up the stragglers.

 

GEORGE raises a collection for "the liquor fund", and THE GANG throws in fives and tens.

MICHAEL takes out his wallet.

 

MICHAEL
(Frowning down, but his mood lightening)

All I have is a twenty, I'll cover it this time, but maybe you'll pay me back ten someday.

THE GANG shrugs.

 

THE FAMILY STATION-WAGON leaves the hotel parking lot with the sun hanging low on the horizon.

 

EXT./INT. Michael's Station-Wagon, 1999, Sunset (Day)

MICHAEL and GEORGE drive in complete silence, both staring straight out the window, he out the passenger-side. It could not be any more awkward.

MICHAEL tries to make conversation, to have "REAL TIME" with the friend as he remembered him.

 

MICHAEL

Hey, do you remember the time we went to "Six Flags" for my birthday? We must have went through $20 worth of quarters at the arcade!

 

GEORGE shrug, noncommittal.

 

MICHAEL

What about that time when we got sent to Mr. Lents' office for filling up balloons with maggots, getting on the roof, and throwing them down on people?

 

MICHAEL begins to ask something else when GEORGE cuts in--

 

GEORGE

Dude, I can hardly remember what I did two days ago.

 

MICHAEL apologizes, caught in a bind, and they drive in silence for a while. Then he asks a question.

 

MICHAEL

Hey, George.

 

No response.

 

MICHAEL

Will you put in a good word in for me with Chrissy? I must have had a crush on her for a year-and-a-half.

 

GEORGE is still looking out the window.

 

GEORGE

Yea.

 

More silence. . . . . MICHAEL looks vaguely relieved.

 

EXT, Arena Liquor, 1999, Night

THE STATION-WAGON pulls up to Arena Liquor, and GEORGE lays down $80 for booze through the window-- whiskey, malt liquor, gin, vodka, and beer-- and carries it out to the car in two brisk trips in the humid nighttime air.

MICHAEL opens THE TRUNK as GEORGE talks on a pay-phone across the parking lot.

They slam the car doors.

MICHAEL turns the keys in the ignition and the car struggles, sputters, dies.

Looking concerned, MICHAEL tries again--

And again.

The two sit in silence.

MICHAEL is worried, apologetic.

 

MICHAEL

Fuck. . . . . I don't know what's wrong with the car. Let me try again.

 

He tries again, and in a surreal comedic shot, the car collapses on all four tires and belches out smoke from under the hood.

 

The two are waving smoke out of their face.

GEORGE looks non-plussed.

 

SCENE CHANGES

GEORGE and MICHAEL are standing out in the Arena Liquor parking lot when a 1970's-era green "gangsta" car pulls up full of "Da' Crew".

Chatter all around, as they debate their strategy.

 

MICHAEL

Good thing you came when you did, we would have been stranded and couldn't make it to the party. . . . .

 

There's a touch of awkwardness in the air as "Da' Crew look around and scuff their shoes against the sidewalk. Then they load the booze from one trunk to the other.

GEORGE gets in the backseat, and MICHAEL is about to squeeze in when he holds up his hand:

 

MICHAEL

We need to get something back at da' house. We be back in five minutes.

 

The car door slams.

MICHAEL stands there expectantly.

Then THE GANGSTA CAR "peels rubber" and blows exhaust in his face.

Wide-shot: MICHAEL stands there in the Arena Liquor store parking lot, gawking off at them as the narration voices over:

 

NARRATION (V.O.)

Well, "easy come, easy go" I guess. The world was not generous, and all you were left with in the end was bits of trash fluttering along the curbside. There with the torn lottery tickets, cigarette butts, broken beer bottles, the occasional syringe, and other refuse left behind by the milling slime of humanity.

 

INT. Dad's Front Room, 1999, Late Morning

MICHAEL is sitting in the filthy, cluttered front-room where he makes his living area, stuffing trash into a garbage bag. This is his feral, wounded, "flop-house" existence where he plays outdated Nintendo games and old, grungy VCR tapes.

 

NARRATION (V.O.)

I thought that was the end of it, the end of everything-- hooked up to my emotional respirator and living in "bargain-basement derangement". But I didn't count on this--

 

SOUND FX-- (Rapping on the door)

MICHAEL gets up, cursing in a dirty Guns n' Roses t-shirt and pair of underwear and pads toward THE DOOR.

THE DOOR opens, revealing CHRISSY-- her face curved into a beautiful smile, her lips stained the color of cherry Koolaid. She is elfin, she is stunning. Why, A LITTLE HALO glows around her even, capturing the magic of this moment with the mild sound of an angelic chorus.

REACTION SHOT of MICHAEL standing in the doorway, stuttering out "hello"-- completely taken aback.

But THE DOOR swings further open to reveal DAMONE standing there like an over-friendly sewer rat.

MICHAEL squints at him, a rust stain of counterfeit hollowness beginning to despoil the illusion.

DAMONE steps forward.

 

DAMONE

Hey, man. Can we use your phone for a sec?

 

MICHAEL lets them in.

 

NARRATION (V.O.)

What was I supposed to do, turn them away like Scrooge?! Such a small favor it seemed. . . . .

 

MICHAEL
(Bending over at the waist with hilarity)

I'm so SORRY this place is a mess. . . . .

 

The camera pans over the filth.

 

DAMONE & CHRISSY (In unison)

It's cool. . . . .

 

MICHAEL points DAMONE to the phone, where the junior criminal holds the receiver in one skinny wrist.

OUR HERO turns back to CHRISSY, and the camera swings back and forth between the two.

 

MICHAEL
(Half-stuttering)

H-h-how was the party?

 

CHRISSY

It was fine. Why weren't you there?

 

MICHAEL
(Rambling like "a little professor")

Well, my car had a break-down, then another car swung by and George said he'd be back in 5 minutes. When I called the next day, he said that he was yelling at people out the window and the cops were chasing him and he was hiding in the bushes and never made it to his own party.

 

MICHAEL shrugs, as if the story is absurdly believable.

 

CHRISSY

Oh, he was there alright. He said you "chose to stay home".

 

She cringes, and MICHAEL laughs.

 

MICHAEL

How was the graduation?

 

CHRISSY

I didn't graduate.

 

MICHAEL

Me neither. I have a GED because I'm a nihilist.

 

CHRISSY nods and pretends to understand.

DAMONE reemerges and asks for a ride.

The camera goes from MICHAEL thinking to DAMONE standing there with the hanging question to CHRISSY smiling sweetly, back to MICHAEL back to DAMONE back to CHRISSY, back to MICHAEL. What a charade of civility.

 

MICHAEL

Uh, sure. . . . . . no problem. Just let me get ready here. I need two minutes.

 

DAMONE

Thanks, man.

 

CHRISSY'S eyes widen with approval.

DAMONE and CHRISSY step outside through the clutter.

MICHAEL clenches his fist and silently mouths "YES!" with an exaggerated expression of pure ecstasy.

 

SCENE CHANGES

EXT. Dad's House, 1999, Late Morning

DAMONE and CHRISSY sit on the porch ledge together, watching the trees and saying little, with the appearance of being extremely content and stoned and vacant like they've been up all night.

MICHAEL rushes down to THE FAMILY STATION-WAGON and stuffs trash into a black garbage bag, getting rid of greasy soda cans, fast food wrappers, and the like.

HIS GUESTS continue to stare off into space.

MICHAEL even sprays on a bit of air freshener throughout the car for a bit of "good measure".

He removes THE GARBAGE BAG and brings it around to the trunk.

 

INT./EXT. Car Trunk

The camera shows a trunk's eye view of MICHAEL opening the trunk and throwing down the bag of trash.

SCENE SHIFTS

A SHOT OF THE MESSY TRUNK-- tarp, blankets, rotting "Reader's Digests", extension cords, and old rusted tools mouldering with the stink of the ages.

 

EXT./INT. Station-Wagon, 1999, Late Morning

MICHAEL drives while CHRISSY and DAMONE sit in the backseat. The junior desperado notices SOME TAPES on the floor, including Guns n' Roses "Appetite for Destruction".

 

DAMONE

I used to own that tape. Then the roof leaked.

 

MICHAEL

Well, you can have that one if you want. I own it on CD.

 

DAMONE

Then why do you have it on tape?

 

MICHAEL

Well, that's my own copy. I like to dub tapes. Sometimes I either feel like a recording engineer or the road manager of a world tour.

 

DAMONE

How do you figure?

 

MICHAEL

Well, you plan the order of the songs and stack the CD's in a pile and write down times. It's hard work, but very exciting.

 

DAMONE

That's nuts, man.

 

MICHAEL

Yeah, but it's yours.

 

DAMONE

My "crib's" mine.

 

CHRISSY laughs, then the lovers nuzzle together and kiss.

MICHAEL frowns in the rear-view mirror

 

EXT. Maplewood Industrial Area, 1999, Late Morning

THE STATION-WAGON drives past ACE Metals down in Maplewood, a rough industrial area down by the train tracks.

 

EXT. Gravel Parking Lot, 1999, Late Morning

THE CAR pulls into a gravel lot across from a neighborhood of beat-up old houses, like shanty-towns up on a hill.

 

DAMONE (V.O.)

Pull into that lot "right there".

 

DAMONE & CHRISSY get out of the car and walk hand-and-hand away from THE STATION-WAGON as OUR HERO watches them, turned around in the seat.

 

NARRATION (V.O.)

Damone said he'd be back in 20 minutes and left me to sit there, wondering where I fit into all of this--

 

INT. Criminal "Safe-House" Kitchen, 1999, Day

DAMONE lays money and drugs on a filthy table in a dim kitchen.

 

NARRATION (V.O.)

-- if I was just a pawn in the game of life--

 

THE CAMERA rises to show CHRISSY with her hands to her mouth, smiling as if this petty criminality was the funniest thing in the world--

 

NARRATION (V.O.)

-- but anything, just anything, to have a shot at winning over Chrissy who carried on like a mutant cat-girl from Venus!

 

EXT. Gravel Parking Lot, 1999, Late Morning.

DAMONE & CHRISSY return to the car.

 

EXT./INT. Station-Wagon, 1999, Late Morning

The car takes off and DAMONE as the back-seat driver, directs that I should drop CHRISSY off at her waitessing job at Steak N' Shake.

MICHAEL complies, practically like a free taxi

SOUND FX (Passing traffic)

 

THE STEAK N' SHAKE SIGN looms in the sky.

 

EXT. Steak n' Shake Restaurant, 1999, Late Morning

CHRISSY saunters into the restaurant

 

EXT./INT. Station-Wagon, 1999, Late Morning

MICHAEL & DAMONE, both sitting in the front seats, are both craned around and watching her go in.

 

The restaurant's PNEUMATIC DOOR closes with a slight "whoosh"

MICHAEL turns around and confides in DAMONE with emphatic tones:

 

MICHAEL

Man, YOU. . . .  ARE. . . . . . SO. . . . . LUCKY.

 

DAMONE shrugs casually

 

DAMONE

Yeah, I saw my opportunity. She was going out with George, but at the party everyone was drunk 'cept for me and Chrissy so we "got it on" in the bathroom.

 

MICHAEL looks wounded and shocked, but then asks a question:

 

MICHAEL

But don't you think that George is going to come after you? He's gonna be mad!

 

DAMONE

Fuck naw! What do you think his little bitch ass is going to do? She's mine now-- anyone try to come after her, and he's got to face me and my pit-bull.

 

MICHAEL

Oh.

 

DAMONE
(Casting a smiling, malevolent expression)

Hey-- wanna make some easy money?

 

 

SCENE CHANGES

EXT. McDonald's Drive-Thru Lane, 1999, Late Morning

 

MICHAEL

How does this work again?

 

DAMONE

What we do is say we ordered lunch from them earlier and got sick. Then they'll give us a refund!

 

MICHAEL

But we don't have any proof! Won't we, like, get arrested?

 

DAMONE

Fuck no! What are they going to do, say "no"? We'll drive on and hit another joint. Victimless crime. It's their fault if they fall for it, right?!

 

THE FAMILY STATION-WAGON pulls up to THE DRIVE-THRU SPEAKER. Haltingly, like a bad actor-- MICHAEL goes into the routine about how he got sick from the food, DAMONE chiming in. They don't sound very convincing.

THE TIRED, WASHED-OUT VOICE says she will get her manager and calls for the car to pull forward.

 

EXT. McDonald's Drive-Thru Window, 1999, Late Morning

The manager lumbers forward and speaks in a flabby voice like a mollusk at the bottom of the Mississippi.

 

MANAGER

What's the problem, sir?

 

MICHAEL
(Haltingly)

We ordered food from here earlier and like, got sick. It tasted like it had motor oil on it and we were like, throwing up. We want a refund.

 

MANAGER

Do you have a receipt?

 

MICHAEL

Uh, no. I threw it out. We like, threw up on the bag and on the sidewalk.

 

MANAGER

We'll replace your order, but we won't give you a refund without a receipt.

 

MICHAEL

Uh, o.k. Thank you.

 

THE STATION-WAGON drives off.

 

DAMONE
(Muttering)

Shithead. . . . .

 

MICHAEL

Where did you learn that trick?

 

DAMONE

My momma taught me.

 

MICHAEL

Oh.

 

THE STATION-WAGON pulls up an an intersection.

 

DAMONE

Come over tonight and get drunk with us!

 

MICHAEL
(Taken aback, pleased)

Sure.

 

CUT TO:

Glamorous photograph taken of CHRISSY with the sound of a flashbulb: in this one, she's pouting like a Playboy Model.

 

DAMONE

Come by at 6.

 

THIS IS CONTRASTED BY--

MICHAEL holding up HIS DIGITAL WATCH:

The clock reads 6:00, quite literally "on-the-dot".

 

EXT. Damone's Run-Down Shack, 1999, Early Evening (Day)

MICHAEL walks up to DAMONE'S RAMSHACKLE PORCH & knocks on the door, but no one answers.

He waits, and waits, and waits.

MICHAEL walks away, visibly consternated is if he's been cheated.

 

INT. Dad's Front Room, 1999, Night

MICHAEL plays "Super Mario Bros." in the front room, pressing the buttons like a kid. He's on one of the deep sea levels with the dorky "water music" as "Super Mario" swims through the briny deep on the run from blow-fish and jellyfish. It's dark and quiet outside, about 9' o clock in the evening when--

SOUND FX-- (Rapping on the Door)

 

MICHAEL opens THE DOOR and there stands CHRISSY and PARIS.

 

PARIS
(Blurting out the facts, chewing gum adorably)

Can you give us a ride? We gotta bail Damone from jail!

 

MICHAEL
(Slightly wide-eyed and hoarse)

What'd he do?

 

PARIS

I don't know! Grandma said he was sitting on the porch when the cops came and took him away!

 

EXT. Maplewood 7-Eleven, 1999, Night

THE STATION-WAGON pulls into the local 7-Eleven where a scattering of TEENAGE URCHINS hang out like a meek pack of coyotes.

They stare at the car as PARIS gets out and talks to them, like an automobile in PARIS'S possession is an exotic species.

 

PARIS

We need $150 to bail Damone from jail!

 

The pack looks around and shrugs. They tell us to go talk to "Big Vinnie"

 

EXT. Criminal Bar n' Grill, 1999, Night

MICHAEL sits in the car and through the windshield watches CHRISSY saunter inside by THE CIGARETTE MACHINES even though she's underage.

As the camera lingers on the door, MICHAEL and PARIS talk.

 

MICHAEL
(Trying to sound like the mock voice of authority)

I'll bet that she's going to get thrown out.

 

PARIS

Why?

 

MICHAEL

You know, she's underage.

 

PARIS

I'll bet you $5.

 

MICHAEL

I wish I had $5. I've been spending it all on fuel.

 

PARIS

If I kissed you, would that make it worth it?

 

MICHAEL

Yeah, I suppose it would. You may kiss my elbow, and we'll call it "square".

 

PARIS laughs and kisses MICHAEL'S ELBOW.

 

MICHAEL

Man, I'm so straight I don't even know where to buy a fake I.D.

 

CHRISSY saunters back out, apparently successful.

 

SCENE CHANGES

INT. St. Louis County Jail, 1999, Night

THE KIDS sit in the stark white waiting area, the hum of overhead lights above as they wait for the bondsman to lead out DAMONE. They idle on the benches, the girls on one side and MICHAEL on the other. There's nothing to do but wait.

 

MICHAEL

Hey, Chrissy.

 

CHRISSY

What?

 

MICHAEL

What do your parents do for a living?

 

CHRISSY smiles, then answers:

 

CHRISSY

My father is a Lutheran minister and my mother is a church secretary.

 

CUT TO--

Glamorous photograph of CHRISSY being taken of her in a nun's habit with the sound of a flash-bulb.

 

MICHAEL

Oh.

 

PARIS unpeels a "Support your Local Police" STICKER and playfully sticks it on MICHAEL'S HAIR. He peels THE FILTHY STICKER off and tosses it at her, and pretty soon paper is sailing through the air like a food-fight.

Everyone is laughing.

SOUND FX (Door bursting open)

THE KIDS whirl around to see who it is.

A big, porky cop with a buzz-cut walks past. He looks at the mess of public service reminders, and shrugs with a "let-it-go-attitude" with a smile on his face.

THE PORKY COP marches off into the night.

THE KIDS laugh with relief and settle down.

 

THE DOOR opens again.

It's DAMONE walking out angrily, hunched over.

 

DAMONE

I don't want my own girlfriend bailing me from jail!

 

CHRISSY rises from her seat to meet him.

 

CHRISSY

But--

 

DAMONE

I don't want you bailing me from jail!

 

DAMONE relaces his shoes furiously.

 

DAMONE

Now I owe you money. . . . .

 

MICHAEL looks on puzzled.

 

MICHAEL

What'd they arrest you for?

 

DAMONE continues to work on his shoes.

 

DAMONE

Missing bail, for missing bail. I asked them to "let it slide" but they said "no" because it was drug-related.

 

MICHAEL stands there stupidly.

 

EXT. Damone's Run-Down Shack, 1999, Night

THE STATION-WAGON pulls up in front of DAMONE'S ramshackle house, and car doors slam as everyone gets out.

The feeble band heads toward the steps.

But THE HALF-DEAF, HALF-MAD comes out of the house and starts fussing at them like a wraith.

DAMONE stands over her with menace:

 

DAMONE

GET IN THE HOUSE, BITCH.

 

He's verbally pushing her back in with a show of force.

CHRISSY puts her hand up to her mouth and laughs, thinking it's delightful.

DAMONE whisks through the door and PARIS skips up the steps.

MICHAEL sits down on A CHAIR with a package of booze, taking out a 32 OUNCE CAN of "MILLER HIGH-LIFE". He pops the top, and guzzles deeply.

DAMONE returns outside with A BOTTLE OF WHISKEY and sits down on A WIRE BENCH with CHRISSY. He opens the bottle and swigs.

PARIS reaches for the package of PINK LEMONADE WINE COOLERS and sips from one demurely, sitting on the porch steps.

DAMONE goes into a monologue about "how bad he is", speaking with an ease of evil confidence. In the meantime, MICHAEL is twisting around the metal tab on his beer, it breaks off, and falls in-- he eyes the beer through the punch-top.

DAMONE boasts how he and CHRISSY are eventually going to move off to California and stay with some friends in South-Central Los Angeles.

 

PARIS
(Teasing, cutting her older brother "down a notch")

You think you're so bad, Damone. That's just a fucking joke. You got nabbed on your own porch by the cops. I'll bet Mike here could kick your ass!

 

A wide shot of the porch, silence but for the "rheeing" of crickets.

DAMONE leans forward and casts a malevolent expression.

 

DAMONE

Yeah, you think you can drink there with your little wine cooler there, dumb girl. Go finish Mike's beer!

 

PARIS impulsively grabs MICHAEL'S drink and tips it straight up, gulping.

She stops after a second, frowning.

DAMONE leers in triumph.

 

DAMONE

See, I told you ya couldn't drink. Dumb girl!

 

PARIS
(Protesting)

There was a metal tab in there!

 

MICHAEL laughs merrily, completely charmed by the antics of "the riff-raff".

DAMONE gives OUR HERO a lingering, evil, dirty look that would curdle sweet milk. Then he turns back to Paris.

 

DAMONE

If you don't shut up I'll have to sell your ass in East St. Louis again. . . . .

 

 

SCENE CHANGES

INT. Dad's Front Room, 1999, Late Morning

MICHAEL is once more stuffing trash in a garbage bag in the front-room when there is a knocking on the door.

THE DOOR opens to reveal a drunk, slurring woman in her early '30s.

 

DAMONE'S DRUNK MOM

Hi, I'm Damone's mom and I live on the next street. I need a favor, a ride over to Brentwood. I'll give you $5 for your time.

 

EXT./INT. Station-Wagon, 1999, Late morning.

DAMONE'S DRUNK MOM climbs in the passenger seat, and the camera focuses on her thighs, then back on her-- she's attractive enough-- and friendly.

From the back-seat is a view of the pair driving around and talking-- beer, Mötley Crüe, whatever.

MICHAEL drops her off at some apartments, but no one's home.

She gets back in the car and MICHAEL asks:

 

MICHAEL

Where to?

 

DAMONE'S DRUNK MOM
(Patting his leg)

You sure are nice!

 

CUT TO:

DREAM "PORNO SEQUENCE" of MICHAEL & DAMONE'S DRUNK MOM humping in the backseat with her slurring cries and her hands fluttering across his back.

 

Now the FAMILY STATION-WAGON drives down another street.

As MICHAEL looks out the window, he can't help but notice all THE POLICE CARS lined up and down the block.

He lets DAMONE'S DRUNK MOM off at the house near the end. She knocks on the door but no one is home.

 

From the view of a police car with the men talking over their radios, they watch DAMONE'S DRUNK MOM get back in THE FAMILY STATION-WAGON.

 

MICHAEL & PASSENGER drive back up the block, past the police cars.

 

MICHAEL
(Commenting nervously)

I better slow down or else they might ticket me for speeding.

 

THE LINE OF POLICE CAR, and even A PADDY WAGON begins to follow-- looking like a zany motorcade as zany "circus music" comes on, a surreal scene.

 

MICHAEL looks in the rear-view mirror.

 

MICHAEL

What the fuck--

 

SIRENS and FLASHERS begin wailing like banshees.

THE STATION-WAGON turns on to a side-street and gently comes to a halt.

 

The camera cuts to a shaky tracking shot of officers rushing the vehicle with their hands on their holsters, shouting out questions like the S.W.A.T. team.

 

POLICE OFFICERS

How do you know this woman?! Have you have been locked up before?!

[Then as an after-thought, a strange moment of tension as an officer stands there stock-still with a tight-lipped expression]

License and Registration?!

 

3 seconds elapse as MICHAEL just stares at them.

 

MICHAEL

Uh, sure.

 

Being very careful not to make any sudden moves, he slowly and carefully gets out HIS WALLET.

THE COP turns his head suddenly and yells "SCRAM!" at two 10 year-olds , caps backwards, sitting on their bikes and watching.

 

MICHAEL

Here you go.

 

THE COP looks down at MICHAEL'S OBSCENELY BENEVOLENT PICTURE-- hardly the face of a hardened criminal.

THE POLICE instruct THE PASSENGERS to get out of the car.

They frisk MICHAEL. They frisk DAMONE'S DRUNK MOM, who protests her innocence.

 

Next, the police play the game of "good cop"/"bad cop".

"BAD COP" leads MICHAEL away and asks what his story is.

MICHAEL tells him the truth about that morning.

"BAD COP" repeats his words back to him, making his story sound more and more ridiculous.

 

DAMONE'S DRUNK MOM is being questioned on the other side of the street, her hands up in the air and walking around in a circle like she's doing the "hokey-pokey", a gin-soaked chicken.

A POLICE OFFICER roots through THE GARBAGE BAG in THE TRUNK, looking for contraband.

 

"BAD COP" walks over ten paces and converses with "GOOD COP".

"GOOD COP" comes by and leads me by the elbow "like an inside source" to explain what's going on. They're looking for an escaped felon named "Big Bill" and DAMONE'S DRUNK MOM is his girlfriend. The residence was a known drug house, and if someone had been home and MICHAEL had gone inside, he would have been an accomplice under the law.

MICHAEL looks wide-eyed and shocked, as if he's barely cheated death.

"BAD COP" walks MICHAEL back to the trunk, the sting winding down in the background.

 

"BAD COP".

How did fall in with these scum?

 

MICHAEL

Well, it was kind of "a-friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend".

 

"BAD COP"
("Harrumphing")

Perhaps you should get some new friends.

 

DAMONE'S DRUNK MOM sits in the car, faced out the window and not meeting her driver's eye like a petty sociopath of the worst sort.

 

MICHAEL
(Nodding)

That may not be a bad idea!

 

SCENE CHANGES

EXT. Run-Down Maplewood, 1999, Night

THE FAMILY STATION-WAGON is driving through darkened, misty Maplewood in the dead of night as the narration speaks:

 

NARRATION (V.O.)

What made me stay for one more night? I don't know, maybe I wanted to save Chrissy and Paris. Might my better example lead them to the light-- but I was slowly getting dragged deeper down into "the heart of darkness". . . . .

 

EXT/INT. Family Station-Wagon, 1999, Night

DAMONE sits in the passenger side seat, wearing a yellow jersey and a yellow cap that folds up-- it contrasts poorly with his pale, jaundiced skin and makes him look like a brand-name lizard who did his shopping down at the local mall.

He gives MICHAEL directions where to go.

 

EXT. Criminal "Safe-House", 1999, Night

They pull up next to a house.

THE BOYS sneak through the back-gate. They're standing along the side of the house.

 

DAMONE
(Whispering)

Wait here.

 

He goes to the back of the house.

MICHAEL is hunched over and frozen as the narrator's voice comments:

 

NARRATION (V.O.)

I had no idea of what was happening. If Damone's throat was slit, if I was going to die, or if I was going to go to jail before the night was over. All I could do was wait-- and wait.

 

Michael looks around nervously, and the tension is palpable.

DAMONE comes back out.

 

DAMONE
(Whispering)

This way. . . . .

 

INT. Criminal "Safe-House", 1999, NIGHT.

A SLEEPY BLACK KID in a basketball jersey sitting in an easy chair, watching wrestling on cable. The camera lingers. MICHAEL comments on his memories of wrestling when he was a kid-- "Hulk Hogan", "The Ultimate Warrior, and "The Big Boss Man".

"Chunky" does not react, stoned out of his gourd.

A LANKY WHITE KID sleeps on the couch, covered with a blanket, his skinny arms folded like a mummy's or a bat in a sarcophagous. He stirs, tastes his mouth, and sits up. He asks who the stranger is.

 

DAMONE

He's cool. . . . .

 

"Lanks" pulls on a white t-shirt.

 

EXT. Criminal "Safe-House", 1999, Night.

"THE GANG" files out the back and heads toward THE FAMILY STATION-WAGON.

 

EXT. Flop-House Apartments, 1999, Night.

THE FAMILY STATION-WAGON pulls up next to some cheap, marginal apartments.

DAMONE raps on the door with his knuckles.

THE DRAPES OPEN and wide, pig-like eyes look out. A middle-aged woman asks who it is in a trembling voice.

 

DAMONE

It's us.

 

INT. Flop-House Apartment, 1999, Night.

The door opens to show a heavyset woman in a flower-print nightgown padding around in slippers, She's panicked, anxious, inconsolable.

 

MARGE

I don't want them to come here and take my baby! If the police come they're going to take my baby away forever!

 

"THE GANG" steps into the room.

The camera pans over the single one-room apartment-- piles of dirty clothes, a tangled mattress laying in the corner

There is a filthy, blackened stove.

And crusty dishes mouldering in the sink as "MARGE" goes on and on in a dither.

 

The camera is revolving around in a circle:

1) MICHAEL wants to know "What'd he do?" but no one answers.

2) MARGE asks who the stranger is in a trembling voice.

3) The camera swings to everyone looking at MICHAEL, quite a pertinent question.

4) He raises his hands and announces "It's alright-- I'm really an o.k. guy!"

5) The camera goes from person to person as they make small-talk with apocalyptic overtures, Y2k and the meltdown of society with riots and food shortages. DAMONE offers to sell MICHAEL a shotgun.

 

CUT TO--

Fashion shoot of Chrissy donned in a funeral veil, black, grip-lipped, with the sound of a flash-bulb, then there's the simultaneous SOUND FX of a shotgun blast.

DAMONE and HIS FRIENDS stand over the camera with a smoking shotgun and evil leers.

 

MICHAEL looks momentarily startled.

MARGE shuffles away, calling over her shoulder:

 

MARGE

Just let me get my purse and I'll buy you your beers.

 

EXT. Shop n' Save, 1999, Night

THE FAMILY STATION-WAGON pulls up to the semi-crowded Shop n' Save.

MARGE gets out and waddles through the automatic doors with her slippers.

 

EXT./INT. FAMILY STATION-WAGON, 1999, NIGHT

MICHAEL haplessly tries to make conversation, put in an awkward position. He talks to "LANKS", trying not to let on how uncomfortable he is with a murderer in the backseat of his car.

 

MICHAEL

Wow. You got a cool Mom. My Mom would never buy me booze. She's always telling me "to straighten up".

 

"LANKS"
(Looking sleepy-eyed & dead)

It's about freedom, man. My momma used to not let me smoke & drink, but when I was around 12 I asked, "who are you to tell me what to do?". She couldn't give a good answer, and then let me do whatever I want. What are we supposed to do. . . . . drink lemonade and sing church songs? Fuck that shit, man!

 

A SECURITY VEHICLE sweeps through the parking lot and everybody stiffens up.

MARGE returns with the booze, she gets in the front seat.

 

MARGE
(Huffing)

I got you Colt 45 Double Malt Liquor, two six packs. Don't get caught!

 

EXT. Damone's Run-Down Shack

"THE GANG" walk up the steps.

MICHAEL pats himself down and realizes that his wallet is missing.

 

MICHAEL

I'll be right back.

 

THE GANG goes in the house with the booze.

MICHAEL goes back to THE CAR and rustles between the seats.

He begins to jog up the steps when "A GANGSTA CAR" full of black kids in their 20's pull up.

 

GANGSTA

Hey, do you know where Paris be?

 

MICHAEL

No.

 

He pauses for a second.

 

MICHAEL

Why?

 

GANGSTA

Man, you don't want TO KNOW, white boy.

 

The car takes off, blaring "gangsta rap".

MICHAEL stares after the car, open-mouthed, like a hapless white sack of shit.

Then he walks up the steps and pushes open THE DOOR.

 

INT. Damone's Ramshackle House, Front-Room, 1999, Night.

DAMONE, "CHUNKY", and "LANKS" stand in the front room, looking over at CHRISSY and talking quietly.

CHRISSY is sleeping on a mattress, curled up like a cat with her back away from THE GANG.

MICHAEL stumbles and makes a ruckus.

 

DAMONE
(Hissing)

Quiet-- I'll kill anyone who wakes up my girlfriend!

 

Then he shadow-boxes MICHAEL'S CHEST for sport, making light contact with the flesh like a bantam-weight fighter.

The camera follows "THE GANG" with a tracking shot down the hallway-- ragged rips gape from the wall like a condemned property.

 

INT. Damone's Ramshackle House, Kitchen, 1999

The tracking shot continues as DAMONE chains the light in the kitchen, and "THE GANG" settles down and starts drinking,

DAMONE disappears down the hallway and we stare at the table.

"CHUNKY" is completely out of it, staring straight ahead with his sleepy eyes half-closed like his brain is eaten away.

A BOX OF HOSTESS CHOCOLATE-FROSTED DONUTS sits on the table.

MICHAEL spies them, reaches out, and opens the package.

DAMONE comes back in with CHRISSY on his arm, yawning and looking adorable as MICHAEL fills up.

 

DAMONE
(Warding away a pest)

Hey! Don't eat those! That was supposed to be her breakfast tomorrow!

 

MICHAEL half turns in his chair to receive the couple.

 

MICHAEL
(Ashamed at his own gluttony)

Sorry.

 

They take a seat.

 

DAMONE

Don't do it again, fuckhead. Now she'll have to go hungry!

 

THE GANG laughs as CHRISSY sits down and demurely smokes marijuana out of a bong made from a Coca-Cola can, a feeling of "bad-girl" sleaziness as she rocks her head back and forth ever-so-slightly.

 

NARRATION (V.O.)

Well, at some point you realize that there's very little you can do for a girl like Chrissy. She didn't care about me, or what I felt for her, but only for my free car.

 

SCENE CHANGES

The table is now full of EMPTY CANS & BOTTLES.

 

"LANKS"

We need more beer!

 

MICHAEL

But it's 12:30 on a Sunday, Labor Day weekend. No place is going to be open.

 

DAMONE wets his lips and thinks.

 

DAMONE

There's the east-side over the river. I know a place that would be open. . . . .

 

MICHAEL

I don't think that's really a good idea. It's late and all, and "kind of rough" down there. . . . .

 

THE GANG "LEANS" on MICHAEL, saying it would be "no big deal" and CHRISSY even bats her eyelashes and smiles.

 

EXT. St. Louis Highway, 1999, Night

THE FAMILY STATION-WAGON thunders down the all-but-empty highway, the ST. LOUIS ARCH lit up in view.

 

NARRATION (V.O.)

I wanted to get out of there "with the path of least resistance" and sometimes it's gotta get worse before it's going to get better. . . . .

 

EXT./INT. The Family Station-Wagon, 1999, Day.

"CHUNKY" sits in the passenger seat, the rest in back-- DAMONE in the middle and CHRISSY on the driver's side.

 

MICHAEL

Where is this place-- maybe, right off the highway?

 

DAMONE

Naw, deeper. In East St. Louis.

 

MICHAEL

EAST ST. LOUIS?! Are you fucking nuts?! There's a murder down there every night!

 

The car lies silent.

 

DAMONE

Ain't nothing gonna happen.

 

THE FAMILY STATION-WAGON crosses THE MISSISSIPPI RIVER.

 

EXT. East St. Louis Wastelands, 1999, Night.

THE FAMILY STATION-WAGON rides around a gloomy, run-down neighborhood.

Everyone is speaking in quiet voices, not wanting to attract trouble or bad Karma or random gunfire.

 

DAMONE

Don't break down in this neighborhood. Even I wouldn't hang out here!

 

They pull out on an empty, blighted urban road and drive a-ways.

 

THE LIQUOR STORE looms in the distance, surrounded by empty, barren fields. "THE GANG" shouts for joy, relief.

THE MECCA draws closer and closer.

However, there are a bunch of GANGSTA CARS and GANGSTA CHARACTERS hanging out like tough guys, looking malevolent.

 

MICHAEL

I'M NOT PULLING IN THERE!

 

THE CAR breaks out in furious groans and CHRISSY is perhaps the most angry of all.

 

MICHAEL

Parking in there is a FUCKING DEATH SENTENCE!

 

DAMONE leans forward.

 

DAMONE

Ain't nothing going to happen, man. Just tell 'em that you're here to get high [-- miming the gesture of putting a joint up to his lips] and you'll be coo'.

 

MICHAEL argues as he turns the car around:

 

MICHAEL

That's just stupid. I'm not going to risk everything over a six-pack of beer!

 

DAMONE
(Instructing gently)

Go back there.

 

MICHAEL

No!

 

DAMONE

You're not worthy of being my friend.

 

MICHAEL chops his hand through the air for emphasis, just like HIS DAD.

 

MICHAEL

LOOK. If we can't agree on where to drive than I can let you off RIGHT HERE.

 

DAMONE'S FACE leers forward.

 

DAMONE

Don't you ever threaten me, fat-ass. You fat motherfucker. You're stupid. That's your problem. You're motherfucking stupid. And you have no friends!

 

MICHAEL stares straight ahead, his eyes welling up with tears.

"CHUNKY" comes out of his stupor and intercedes from the passenger seat.

 

"CHUNKY"

Hey, man. Be cool. Be cool. I don't care about dis sheet. Just let me and him off a-ways and we'll go get da' sheet, we'll be back inna minute.

 

A view from the windshield, as "CHUNKY" & "LANKS" get out of the car and walk toward the liquor store, lit up in the headlights like Confederate ghosts.

MICHAEL mutters something about sweeping back and forth, being ready to speed off at the first sign of danger.

DAMONE senses the need for "damage control" after all the horrible things he's said, and speaks softly:

 

DAMONE

You don't want to drive past there too many times, or they're going to think that you're going to do a drive-by. . . . .

 

MICHAEL says nothing

CHRISSY looks concerned, like "the free rides" might be over.

A view from the windshield-- "LANKY" & "CHUNKS" coming back out and walking into the glare of the headlights with THE BOOZE raised high in the air like six-pack trinkets.

 

SCENE CHANGES

INT. Damone's Ramshackle House, Kitchen, 1999

"THE GANG" sits around DAMONE'S KITCHEN TABLE.

The camera circles around them drinking silently.

MICHAEL has his arms folded and he's trying hard not to frown.

DAMONE'S TADPOLE OF A TOW-HEADED LITTLE BROTHER-- a boy around seven-- comes in and starts playing with his cheap, plastic trucks.

THE OLD HALF-DEAF, HALF-MAD GRANDMA crabs after him, but he looks up at her with an expression that would curdle milk and pipes:

 

DAMONE'S LITTLE BROTHER

Shut up, bitch!

 

DAMONE'S DRUNK MOM comes in and sits down to drink, utterly immune to the other day's chaos and near-arrest.

 

MICHAEL

Do you know where Paris is?

 

DAMONE'S DRUNK MOM

I don't know, probably sleeping somewhere else.

 

The mother sits and nods for a while, gobbling like a turkey, then leaves.

 

The turn of the conversation turns to what "da' crew" was up to the night before. They had hotwired a truck and drove it through Maplewood, crashing into cars, trash cans, garages, everything-- just like "The Demolition Derby"

CUT TO--

A reenactment of this depraved, yet hilarious scene with THE MALEFACTORS in back.

 

BACK TO THE KITCHEN

MICHAEL practically spits up beer.

DAMONE turns to CHRISSY.

 

DAMONE

Remember when you were thrown from that truck and dragged beneath it 50 feet? You were lucky that night, girl!

 

CHRISSY raises her shirt and shows off the scrapes on her ribs.

MICHAEL almost spits up beer again

 

DAMONE

Yeah, me and him got away-- but they grabbed YOUR ASS [-- pointing at CHUNKY] you was the one who was driving! Couldn't run fast enough!

 

SCENE CHANGES

CUT TO--

Reenactment of this scene--

THE BOYS IN BLUE closing in on this scene, "CHUNKY" being thrown to the ground while the others leap the fence like rats climbing over an obstacle.

 

BACK TO THE KITCHEN.

"CHUNKY" is more alert, somewhat upset.

 

CHUNKY

Hey man, that's not funny. They beat my ass down at the station-house. . . . .

 

DAMONE looks around bemusedly, scrunched up with the humor it.

CHRISSY yawns and steps off to bed.

 

CUT TO--

THE MOON IN THE SKY

 

SCENE CHANGES

INT. Damone's Ramshackle House, Front-Room, 1999, Night.

"THE GANG" sits down on the broken-down old couch in the front-room. "CHUNKY" and DAMONE are on the couch, "LANKS" and MICHAEL are on the floor. They keep their voices low, turning their heads to CHRISSY--

And there she is, laying on the mattress, turned away.

 

MICHAEL
(Crinkling his nose)

Why does this room stink?

 

DAMONE

I used to have my pit-bull, "Crush".

 

CUT TO--

CLIP of DAMONE & "CRUSH" chillin' on the porch as DAMONE narrates:

 

DAMONE

I was out on the porch when this lady came walking by with a chuwalla on a leash. I said, "? you quera Taco Bell¿" and CRUSH fucked it up.

CUT TO--

DAMONE mouthing the words daringly and the dog leaping off the porch as if "on cue"

 

BACK TO DAMONE SNICKERING WITH EVIL.

He goes on to explain that Animal Control impounded the dog for $400 and is keeping it for $50/day and that he doesn't have the $600 to get "Crush" back

MICHAEL arches his eyebrows and looks down at the floor.

 

The conversation continues-- THE GANG makes vague references to a past "home invasion" where they slung shotguns

MICHAEL looks increasingly worried.

They next begin to hint at carrying out an armed robbery of the Maplewood 7-Eleven-- ski masks, duct tape, and all. The gist of the conversation is that MICHAEL should be "the wheel-man" as Damone wets his lips like a lizard.

 

CUT TO

[DREAM-SEQUENCE]

MASKED DESPERADOS bursting out of the convenience story with the money and THE FAMILY STATION-WAGON "peeling rubber".

 

BACK TO THE ROOM

MICHAEL breaks in and begins stuttering.

 

MICHAEL

I really can't hang out here anymore. I got to get going. It's getting pretty late, and 'early to bed, early to rise' and all that other good stuff.

 

THE GANG stares as him, like a den of thieves.

As MICHAEL gets up to leave, the lean on him to drive them around Maplewood "to look around for stool pigeons to beat up".

MICHAEL bows graciously, departs, and shuts the door.

THE GANG looks around, look to each to each other, and break out laughing

 

SCENE CHANGES

MICHAEL in the modern-day flips through his copy of "The Children's Bible", full of rich, colorful pictures and wholesome stories.

He speaks directly to the camera:

 

MICHAEL

After all of that, it can either destroy your faith in God or strengthen your faith in the necessity of God. Does "nature" or "nurture" make a criminal? Perhaps, you know, we'll never get to the bottom of that one. . . . .

 

FADE OUT

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© 2009 by Insufferable Industries

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